6/22/02
11:11 PM
WORDS FROM THE M.I.A. MISTRESS
Old movies, old memories, and a cold sneaking up on me.
Started the new job, enjoying it so far. Takes up a lot of my time, hence the lack of electronic communications with the anonymous reader.
Currently watching North By Northwest from Alfred Hitchcock and waiting for the next cat attack on my unsuspecting head. Life can be interesting when your cat's a crackhead like The Pants is.
Finally got out of the house a little bit last night, went to see Minority Report. I have a theory that the better Steven Spielberg's movies get, the worse George Lucas films will become. Take the latest movies, for example. Minority Report had an incredible story, and I assume some better footage than the horrendously mismatched images of Attack of the Clones (and wasn't that the title of a '50's B movie??).
This has to be my favorite part of North By Northwest-- or at least the funniest part-- when Cary Grant is getting chased down by a crop-dusting bi-wing plane. Something absolutely side-splittingly funny about that. I guess the absurdity of being chased by an antiquated plane coupled with the fact that the same antiquated plane ends up kamikaze-ing straight into a tanker truck adds to the sick humor. Hitchcock had a sense of humor, even if it was as dry as the Mojave Desert.
Saturday, June 22, 2002
DOH!!!! I TOTALLY forgot to post these entries last week... so here they are, live and uncut.
THE MISSING BLOGS....
6/14/02
10:06am
WRITING WITH NOTHING TO SAY
I sat down with every intention of inputting a Pulitzer Prize-winning journal entry.. but damn it, I have nothing to say. Well, other than Pants is a crackhead. But anyone who has ever met The Pants knew that....
Other than that, yet more viruses. I wrote to charter.net (because that's where all the obnoxious and infected email was coming from) and let them know, hey, one of your users is sending me viruses. Enough already. Well. I just got an email in my site inbox from charter.net telling me (as the owner of the site) that _I_ am sending Klez to their site. ME? I never even USE my site's email because hotmail has an automatic virus scan. AND I don't use a PC, which is what this thing is supposed to infect. So how the HELL am I sending Klez?? I'll have to wait for my tech support buddy to get back to me. He truly is the guru.
6/15/02
5:44PM
MOVIES NOT MADE FOR CHILDREN-- SO WHY THE HELL DID THEY LET US WATCH THEM???
Watership Down
The Secret of NIMH
The Great Owl--fumanchu mustache and glowing yellow eyes
nicademus-- the ancient scary rat
The Dark Crystal
THE MISSING BLOGS....
6/14/02
10:06am
WRITING WITH NOTHING TO SAY
I sat down with every intention of inputting a Pulitzer Prize-winning journal entry.. but damn it, I have nothing to say. Well, other than Pants is a crackhead. But anyone who has ever met The Pants knew that....
Other than that, yet more viruses. I wrote to charter.net (because that's where all the obnoxious and infected email was coming from) and let them know, hey, one of your users is sending me viruses. Enough already. Well. I just got an email in my site inbox from charter.net telling me (as the owner of the site) that _I_ am sending Klez to their site. ME? I never even USE my site's email because hotmail has an automatic virus scan. AND I don't use a PC, which is what this thing is supposed to infect. So how the HELL am I sending Klez?? I'll have to wait for my tech support buddy to get back to me. He truly is the guru.
6/15/02
5:44PM
MOVIES NOT MADE FOR CHILDREN-- SO WHY THE HELL DID THEY LET US WATCH THEM???
Watership Down
The Secret of NIMH
The Great Owl--fumanchu mustache and glowing yellow eyes
nicademus-- the ancient scary rat
The Dark Crystal
Wednesday, June 12, 2002
6/12/02
12:23pm
YOU'RE NO ONE UNTIL SOMEONE LOVES YOU... AND OTHER LIES THEY TELL YOU
Well, seems quite a few people are trying to crash my system these days. And that's just the internet aspect of things. I mean, seriously, WHY do I get emails with viruses??? WHY? Does some prick kid REALLY wanna find out what happens to THEIR computer when I get THEIR forwarded virus? I send it right back to them. I hope it killed their blasted lil unparented unwatched computers and ended their fun real quick. Lil brats. Enough is enough. Parents, why are you not spanking your children???? Do the rest of us a favor and give them at least one good yearly beating, because this "Timeout" bullshit just isn't working for me. And you know what, I bet after parents start smacking their lil darlings around a little bit, we will see a sudden drop in computer viruses. Seriously. Because Gawd forbid we actually PARENT our children, right? That's someone else's job, isn't it? NO. Spankings need to be dealt out to these tiny terrors before they become as obnoxious and out of control as my little brother once was-- before he joined the military. See? He WANTED to be diciplined! The entire time he was acting up and being an arrogant 15 year old, he was actually SCREAMING for a beating. Kids want to be punished for their wrongs, they just don't know it. Computer viruses are just another growing sign that little Johnny is wanting more than a stern talking-to, despite the lies that child shrinks tell yuppie [parents].
In other news.... I was chatting with my buddy Mo today about the lies THEY tell you. Things like, "you're no one until someone loves you" and "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", and my personal favorite, "we're all in this together". Men don't realize the hell women go through and have gone through, and then stupid-ass sayings like the above-mentioned come along and throw all of womankind out for a new loop. Like corsets and heels just weren't enough....
So I say, to hell with those sayings! I was someone before someone else loved me, and I'm still someone (I mean, come on now, none of us are actually NO ONE since we ARE all here, right?). I take up space and I take up cyberspace, so therefore I exist. HA!
And the next untruth: Beauty and the very concept of beauty is all a sick and demented lie. It's all about how big your tits are, girls. How many people honestly look at your face if you have huge tits? Even women are drawn to big tits, whether or not they admit it. Big bustlines have a gravitational pull that is irresistible to all humans great and small. It's all about the mammaries. Freud would love me. And just so the men don't feel left out: we're looking at your personality and craniums, not your chiselled good looks (we save that for later. ;) ) Or if you have bitch-tits, we will inevitably be staring at your chest. So get over it.
OK. Last but not least: "We're all in this together."
Who is this WE?? As far as I know, I'm the only one here, so they must be talking to ME. And what is THIS? Life? The Universe? EVERYTHING??? WHATTTT??????!!!!
A phrase like that can make a paranoid schizophrenic into a purebred psychopath! A phrase like that just JUSTIFIED the THEY Theory. Because THEY just addressed the poor disturbed creature and claimed a WE association. Kind of makes the poor bastard wonder if he had a hand in his own undoing, since WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. And then we wonder why people go on killing sprees?? Phrases like "We're all in this together." will do it everytime. Eliminate the WE factor, and all that's left is YOU. Brings back a sense of control of the situation (although I'm still trying to figure out what the "this" is). To coin a phrase. That's another one... WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MEAN???? No wonder so many kids that need beatings failed English.
12:23pm
YOU'RE NO ONE UNTIL SOMEONE LOVES YOU... AND OTHER LIES THEY TELL YOU
Well, seems quite a few people are trying to crash my system these days. And that's just the internet aspect of things. I mean, seriously, WHY do I get emails with viruses??? WHY? Does some prick kid REALLY wanna find out what happens to THEIR computer when I get THEIR forwarded virus? I send it right back to them. I hope it killed their blasted lil unparented unwatched computers and ended their fun real quick. Lil brats. Enough is enough. Parents, why are you not spanking your children???? Do the rest of us a favor and give them at least one good yearly beating, because this "Timeout" bullshit just isn't working for me. And you know what, I bet after parents start smacking their lil darlings around a little bit, we will see a sudden drop in computer viruses. Seriously. Because Gawd forbid we actually PARENT our children, right? That's someone else's job, isn't it? NO. Spankings need to be dealt out to these tiny terrors before they become as obnoxious and out of control as my little brother once was-- before he joined the military. See? He WANTED to be diciplined! The entire time he was acting up and being an arrogant 15 year old, he was actually SCREAMING for a beating. Kids want to be punished for their wrongs, they just don't know it. Computer viruses are just another growing sign that little Johnny is wanting more than a stern talking-to, despite the lies that child shrinks tell yuppie [parents].
In other news.... I was chatting with my buddy Mo today about the lies THEY tell you. Things like, "you're no one until someone loves you" and "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", and my personal favorite, "we're all in this together". Men don't realize the hell women go through and have gone through, and then stupid-ass sayings like the above-mentioned come along and throw all of womankind out for a new loop. Like corsets and heels just weren't enough....
So I say, to hell with those sayings! I was someone before someone else loved me, and I'm still someone (I mean, come on now, none of us are actually NO ONE since we ARE all here, right?). I take up space and I take up cyberspace, so therefore I exist. HA!
And the next untruth: Beauty and the very concept of beauty is all a sick and demented lie. It's all about how big your tits are, girls. How many people honestly look at your face if you have huge tits? Even women are drawn to big tits, whether or not they admit it. Big bustlines have a gravitational pull that is irresistible to all humans great and small. It's all about the mammaries. Freud would love me. And just so the men don't feel left out: we're looking at your personality and craniums, not your chiselled good looks (we save that for later. ;) ) Or if you have bitch-tits, we will inevitably be staring at your chest. So get over it.
OK. Last but not least: "We're all in this together."
Who is this WE?? As far as I know, I'm the only one here, so they must be talking to ME. And what is THIS? Life? The Universe? EVERYTHING??? WHATTTT??????!!!!
A phrase like that can make a paranoid schizophrenic into a purebred psychopath! A phrase like that just JUSTIFIED the THEY Theory. Because THEY just addressed the poor disturbed creature and claimed a WE association. Kind of makes the poor bastard wonder if he had a hand in his own undoing, since WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. And then we wonder why people go on killing sprees?? Phrases like "We're all in this together." will do it everytime. Eliminate the WE factor, and all that's left is YOU. Brings back a sense of control of the situation (although I'm still trying to figure out what the "this" is). To coin a phrase. That's another one... WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MEAN???? No wonder so many kids that need beatings failed English.
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
6/11/02
10:25am
DEATH AND TAXES?
*DISCLAIMER: This is just for fun, by the way... I actually have NO idea if any of this is truth.*
OK... a pseudo-serious political discussion, along with
The Obligatory Conspiracy Theory Link
And that's all I will say about that one, because frankly, it's over and no one's bringing them back. Yet another speculation on WHAT HAPPENED ON SEPTEMBER 11TH scenario. Color me bitch, but I was there, and I'm tired of reliving it day in and day out. Enough is enough.
On a lighter note. I will start off with this fun link Dante found whilst browsing. It's called THE SIXTEENTH AMENDMENT WAS NEVER RATIFIED
And as a good citizen, you SHOULD be asking, well what the hell does THAT mean? And I'll tell you as I understand it. In a nutshell, file the right papers, talk to the right people (ie a lawyer and your bank and your job) and you DON'T have to pay income tax. That's right. The 16th Amendment was never ratified, which is what has every American VOLUNTEERING to pay taxes. Get that shit. VOLUNTARY taxation. What a larf. By signing the fun paperwork for "tax purposes" when you get that new job, you are effectively signing away your hard earned cash in donation to the government. FUN. here's some more fun sites for ya to eyeball:
http://www.supremelaw.org/fedzone11/htm/chaptr13.htm
http://www.thelawthatneverwas.com/
http://www.joyfoundation.com/
Yes, some of the sites are selling stuff to help you get out of paying taxes, but it's still interesting to know that technically, income tax is considered a voluntary tax. The ones who were SUPPOSED to be taxed were the work visa folks, and the occupants of the US Territories.
How ironic...
I guess it's time to stop signing that W4, eh?
10:25am
DEATH AND TAXES?
*DISCLAIMER: This is just for fun, by the way... I actually have NO idea if any of this is truth.*
OK... a pseudo-serious political discussion, along with
The Obligatory Conspiracy Theory Link
And that's all I will say about that one, because frankly, it's over and no one's bringing them back. Yet another speculation on WHAT HAPPENED ON SEPTEMBER 11TH scenario. Color me bitch, but I was there, and I'm tired of reliving it day in and day out. Enough is enough.
On a lighter note. I will start off with this fun link Dante found whilst browsing. It's called THE SIXTEENTH AMENDMENT WAS NEVER RATIFIED
And as a good citizen, you SHOULD be asking, well what the hell does THAT mean? And I'll tell you as I understand it. In a nutshell, file the right papers, talk to the right people (ie a lawyer and your bank and your job) and you DON'T have to pay income tax. That's right. The 16th Amendment was never ratified, which is what has every American VOLUNTEERING to pay taxes. Get that shit. VOLUNTARY taxation. What a larf. By signing the fun paperwork for "tax purposes" when you get that new job, you are effectively signing away your hard earned cash in donation to the government. FUN. here's some more fun sites for ya to eyeball:
http://www.supremelaw.org/fedzone11/htm/chaptr13.htm
http://www.thelawthatneverwas.com/
http://www.joyfoundation.com/
Yes, some of the sites are selling stuff to help you get out of paying taxes, but it's still interesting to know that technically, income tax is considered a voluntary tax. The ones who were SUPPOSED to be taxed were the work visa folks, and the occupants of the US Territories.
How ironic...
I guess it's time to stop signing that W4, eh?
Monday, June 10, 2002
6/10/02
7:05pm
THE ANGRY FUDGE EXPERIENCE
First and foremost, if yer reading this, Bee, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
OK. So I was at home, watching Death By Chocolate on one of those improve something channels, and this guy (apparently at one point drafted into the Marines for Viet Nam, but looked more like a librarian) is showing his viewing audience how to make fudge. I think, 'Wow, fudge. That sounds great.' I write down the recipe and how to make it, and even go out and get a candy thermometer so that I will reach the 245 degrees F that it's supposed to reach before it will set.
I get everything ready, I make sure I have everything, and I begin to prepare this (in my imagination) wonderful fudge. I get the chocolate mess to boil, and I leave it boiling, get it to the 245 degrees, grease the pan to put it into, add the last ingredients as per the recipe, and pour the painfully hot chocolate sludge into this pan. Do you know how painful hot (I mean BOILING) chocolate is when is splashes you? VERY painful. Worse than hot wax, even. Mind you, I had to keep running back and forth every five minutes or so because Pants decides she really likes chocolate, and I chase her off the stove several times during this endeavor, the final time she left chocokitty footprints from her front paw... guess who dipped in to sample the chocolate? And after that, I had to fight her off because after the chocolate experience, she was a CRACKHEAD, attacking everything and anything, pupils so dilated that I swear I saw into her brain.
But I digress. I let the alleged fudge sit on the countertop, waiting and waiting for it to 'set'. After two hours I got tired and put it into the refrigerator, expecting this might work-- my cleverness astounds even ME sometimes-- but NO! The sludge laughed at me, refusing to harden to fudge. Damn it. I scraped the fudge back into a saucepan and brought it back to a boil, thinking maybe it just needed to push off more liquid... I poored the new attempt into a smaller pan, let it sit on the countertop again, and waited patiently. After about an hour of waiting, I pried the would-be fudge out of the pan and put it onto a plate. I was sooo cool. I made fudge... but there was something horrifyingly wrong. This fudge suspiciously resembled taffy. Chocolate-flavored taffy.
I poked at it with a knife, and it sucked the knife away from my hands. I tried to pry it off the plate, but it ate that too. I had successfully created The Blob, but chocolate-flavored. People dressed in 50's clothes would smell chocolate before their immenent absorption into my chocomess, and it would grow in mass and size until no one was safe. I decided that taffy or not, I was gonna make the best of a bad situation and EAT this beast. I pried a piece off and popped it into my mouth, didn't TASTE bad, but I had trouble chewing it. Then I had problems SWALLOWING it. After that I had some trouble breathing, too. So much for saving that quiet 50's town from my monster. Let it eat them! said I. It sat on the counter for about a day, I hoped maybe it would walk away on its own and spare me from actually having to do battle with it. In that mere 24 hours, I learned to LOATHE it. It haunted me, I had dreams of it actually transforming into the dessert food it was intended to be, if only I let it sit there LONG ENOUGH. No luck. I cleaned the house around it, despising it every time I walked past it.
Yesterday I finally said enough. Dante looked at the black sludge shine of it's surface and cringed. I said, "Try some! It actually isn't that bad!" and forced myself to smile. I have hit a new low in deviousness. I hate myself as much as I hate my creation. It reminded me of the time I tried to cook chicken livers and ended up burning them. Even the cat wouldn't eat it.
So yesterday afternoon I crept up on my creation, wrestled the knife from its mucky grasp, and quickly pried at the edges in an attempt to reclaim my plate. The fudge-sludge laughed at me, and this time, I swear I could hear it. Even fire wouldn't kill this thing, but maybe boiling water would do the trick.... It's the Universal Solvent, right?
That plate is STILL soaking in the sink. And the fudge is STILL clinging to its surface. Gawd, I hate that host of Death By Chocolate.... and he owes me a dinner plate, dammit.
7:05pm
THE ANGRY FUDGE EXPERIENCE
First and foremost, if yer reading this, Bee, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
OK. So I was at home, watching Death By Chocolate on one of those improve something channels, and this guy (apparently at one point drafted into the Marines for Viet Nam, but looked more like a librarian) is showing his viewing audience how to make fudge. I think, 'Wow, fudge. That sounds great.' I write down the recipe and how to make it, and even go out and get a candy thermometer so that I will reach the 245 degrees F that it's supposed to reach before it will set.
I get everything ready, I make sure I have everything, and I begin to prepare this (in my imagination) wonderful fudge. I get the chocolate mess to boil, and I leave it boiling, get it to the 245 degrees, grease the pan to put it into, add the last ingredients as per the recipe, and pour the painfully hot chocolate sludge into this pan. Do you know how painful hot (I mean BOILING) chocolate is when is splashes you? VERY painful. Worse than hot wax, even. Mind you, I had to keep running back and forth every five minutes or so because Pants decides she really likes chocolate, and I chase her off the stove several times during this endeavor, the final time she left chocokitty footprints from her front paw... guess who dipped in to sample the chocolate? And after that, I had to fight her off because after the chocolate experience, she was a CRACKHEAD, attacking everything and anything, pupils so dilated that I swear I saw into her brain.
But I digress. I let the alleged fudge sit on the countertop, waiting and waiting for it to 'set'. After two hours I got tired and put it into the refrigerator, expecting this might work-- my cleverness astounds even ME sometimes-- but NO! The sludge laughed at me, refusing to harden to fudge. Damn it. I scraped the fudge back into a saucepan and brought it back to a boil, thinking maybe it just needed to push off more liquid... I poored the new attempt into a smaller pan, let it sit on the countertop again, and waited patiently. After about an hour of waiting, I pried the would-be fudge out of the pan and put it onto a plate. I was sooo cool. I made fudge... but there was something horrifyingly wrong. This fudge suspiciously resembled taffy. Chocolate-flavored taffy.
I poked at it with a knife, and it sucked the knife away from my hands. I tried to pry it off the plate, but it ate that too. I had successfully created The Blob, but chocolate-flavored. People dressed in 50's clothes would smell chocolate before their immenent absorption into my chocomess, and it would grow in mass and size until no one was safe. I decided that taffy or not, I was gonna make the best of a bad situation and EAT this beast. I pried a piece off and popped it into my mouth, didn't TASTE bad, but I had trouble chewing it. Then I had problems SWALLOWING it. After that I had some trouble breathing, too. So much for saving that quiet 50's town from my monster. Let it eat them! said I. It sat on the counter for about a day, I hoped maybe it would walk away on its own and spare me from actually having to do battle with it. In that mere 24 hours, I learned to LOATHE it. It haunted me, I had dreams of it actually transforming into the dessert food it was intended to be, if only I let it sit there LONG ENOUGH. No luck. I cleaned the house around it, despising it every time I walked past it.
Yesterday I finally said enough. Dante looked at the black sludge shine of it's surface and cringed. I said, "Try some! It actually isn't that bad!" and forced myself to smile. I have hit a new low in deviousness. I hate myself as much as I hate my creation. It reminded me of the time I tried to cook chicken livers and ended up burning them. Even the cat wouldn't eat it.
So yesterday afternoon I crept up on my creation, wrestled the knife from its mucky grasp, and quickly pried at the edges in an attempt to reclaim my plate. The fudge-sludge laughed at me, and this time, I swear I could hear it. Even fire wouldn't kill this thing, but maybe boiling water would do the trick.... It's the Universal Solvent, right?
That plate is STILL soaking in the sink. And the fudge is STILL clinging to its surface. Gawd, I hate that host of Death By Chocolate.... and he owes me a dinner plate, dammit.
Thursday, June 06, 2002
1:37pm
FUN WARNING PHRASES TO THINK ABOUT
"I can't believe it.... he was so quiet and NORMAL."
"You gotta watch out for the quiet ones."
"She looked so NORMAL, but DAMN, that girl is a FREAK!"
"It's always the normal ones...."
"[insert generic reporter name here], I'm here in [state name], where a series of murders has BAFFLED the community... {town name} was a quiet town. Picket fences line the sidewalks, and children play in the streets. The neighbors NEVER thought THIS would happen, not in THEIR quiet little town."
"I always thought [insert homecoming queen's name here] was so happy, she had it all.... I can't believe she would do something like this."
In a nutshell, if you want to avoid the true dangerous crazies, here's some steps to follow:
> stay away from small, quiet towns
> NEVER move in next door to someone who keeps a wood chipper in their backyard ALL THE TIME
> NEVER move in next door to a single, quiet, NORMAL-looking man who's charming and who has train sets and hand puppets
> NEVER move next door to someone who's nice at first, but occasionally a little frightening
> never move into a neighborhood that's nice, quiet, and perfect norman rockwell
> never move into a neighborhood with a lot of nice quiet people and a drastically alternating pet and animal population
> Never move in next door to someone who has a picket fence surrounding their yard and a gingerbread cottage theme running over their house
>never move into a neighborhood frequently featured in the news beginning with the line "It was a quiet little town, until one day...."
FUN WARNING PHRASES TO THINK ABOUT
"I can't believe it.... he was so quiet and NORMAL."
"You gotta watch out for the quiet ones."
"She looked so NORMAL, but DAMN, that girl is a FREAK!"
"It's always the normal ones...."
"[insert generic reporter name here], I'm here in [state name], where a series of murders has BAFFLED the community... {town name} was a quiet town. Picket fences line the sidewalks, and children play in the streets. The neighbors NEVER thought THIS would happen, not in THEIR quiet little town."
"I always thought [insert homecoming queen's name here] was so happy, she had it all.... I can't believe she would do something like this."
In a nutshell, if you want to avoid the true dangerous crazies, here's some steps to follow:
> stay away from small, quiet towns
> NEVER move in next door to someone who keeps a wood chipper in their backyard ALL THE TIME
> NEVER move in next door to a single, quiet, NORMAL-looking man who's charming and who has train sets and hand puppets
> NEVER move next door to someone who's nice at first, but occasionally a little frightening
> never move into a neighborhood that's nice, quiet, and perfect norman rockwell
> never move into a neighborhood with a lot of nice quiet people and a drastically alternating pet and animal population
> Never move in next door to someone who has a picket fence surrounding their yard and a gingerbread cottage theme running over their house
>never move into a neighborhood frequently featured in the news beginning with the line "It was a quiet little town, until one day...."
6/06/02
1:31pm
NORMAL PEOPLE ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS FREAKS (PART II)
OK. So I have successfully ousted myself as a non-normal. Then again, I think that was probably out there from day 1. Either way, my gripe is, after all the evidence of murderer's "normal" behaviour, how are we as a society still so unawares of what's going on around us and sometimes right next door to us?
In my case, just as an example, I was assaulted a couple of years ago. The guy who did it LOOKED completely normal, like someone you'd take home to meet the parents. Turns out, the guy had quite the record. Repeat offender, violating parole, pseudo-recovering CRACKHEAD. I mean, COME ON. The worst part: The cops put ME on trial. They asked me things like Did I start the fight, did I provoke this guy in any way, what was I WEARING? CHRIST! I looked the sergeant in the eye and asked him if his department always blamed the victim or if this was some sort of old policy from pre-women's sufferage days that they just never threw out. he got so flustered that he started making EXCUSES for this guy that nearly beat me to death. The guy was drunk, he was drinking JACK DANIELS (which, truth be known, I can out away quite a bit of Jack myself, but I don't go out afterward and try to kill people I don't know), etc. I can't even explain how furious I was. I ended up doing all the detective work the police shoould have been doing, and I tracked the guy down, brought the cops pictures, and gave them his name and address. I don't even have any training in that one, and it was done in a week.
When we got to the trial date, my father and mother came with me. My father was waiting to get a good look at this guy, and when he saw him, he asked me if I was SURE this was the guy. he asked if the guy looked that way when he beat me up, and I said yeah. Dad was upset. He was expecting some horrible beast of a man, and what he got was a baby-faced conservative-looking kid.
My point is, WHY do we keep this impression that normal is better, when the so-called normal people are the most messed up ones psychologically? If we want to take it one step further of how fact is stranger than fiction: FILM STORIES. Seriously. We watch these films with women and men who appear EXTRA normal, and they turn out to be the most heinous villains. One film I can think of is The In Crowd, where a rich bitch befriends a "working class" girl, then totally goes more insane than she was, and tries to frame miss workergirl as a murdering psycho. Everyone suspects that the workergirl is a murderingpsycho, and they lock her up. Rich bitch goes free to kill again. It finally takes one of the rich bitch's own kind to figure out the truth, and they devise a plan to show everyone at the country club that the rich bitch is the real psycho and has been a serial murderer for some time. So, to spoil the movie: End scene there's a watery swimming pool conflict between rich bitch and workergirl, FINALLY everyone SEES that this chick is TRULY off her rocker, and only then do they stop persecuting the Outsider. The rich bitch psycho then goes on to make a speech, completely flipping out and showing her contempt for everyone at the countryclub, telling them STILL that the workergirl was an Outsider, and CRAZY, and that she, the rich bitch, was not crazy.... Denial. Gotta love it.
So as a society, think about this one: we're DOOOMED. We work so hard at finding things we consider "normal" and therefore "safe" that we have begun to breed psychosis and murder into the society, and push out the "freaks" (who are usually the more adjusted individuals, and who go on to make up 90% of the artists, geniuses, inventors, mathematicians, and scientists, by the way). And this is a good thing WHY?
Time to smell the coffee... seriously.
>The U.S. has a great athletics department in most of the public schools.... not enough funding half the time for the arts and music programs, but wow, they have great-looking football and basketball uniforms, don't they?
>The U.S. (oddly enough) is ranked amongst the lowest in the world in education-- you mean Football isn't Physics?
>The U.S. has a habit of paying next to nothing for teachers and nurses... and then wonder why the healthcare and education systems suck.
>Traditionally U.S. corporations cut back their training departments the minute a recession hits or they haven't met the numbers they were hoping to hit, thus sacrificing quality products and potentially even the safety of everyone involved-- including the consumer. You think factory workers in a pharmaceutical company just KNOW how to work heavy machinery? There's someone out there who trains them, and who keeps them up to speed.
>A company will hire you if you have experience, but only if you don't have enough of a degree backing that experience to ask for more money.
>A masters degree will get the response "needs more experience" for a position that asks for an instructional designer with no experience. Don't ask me... it happened to me. Later found out my would-be job was usurped by a recent graduate with a four-year Bachelors degree, who needed a greencard to work in this country and who barely (and I mean BARELY spoke English).
>So basically, if I'm reading this right, the US wants everyone to be educated and up-to-speed on everything, HOW exactly? Everyone's expected to be well-adjusted and happy-normal WHY?
On one hand we have Hollywood showing us that popularity is everything, geeks and freaks are not to be accepted, YET-- the popular "normal" ones are shown on news reports as having grown up and graduated to become the quiet ones we warn each other about, police having found 20 bodies in the basement. And those ones always make the best thriller movies, don't they?
How many times do we HONESTLY see a true FREAK in the news? There was Columbine, yes, but honestly, look at those kids. They weren't true freaks. Listening to Rammstein (which, by the way, when translated to english turns out to be mostly love songs, believe it or not) or KMFDM does not make you a "goth" by any means. As sorry as I feel for the parents of the kids that died, I feel more sorry that those kids that did it were labelled goth. Anger is for channeling to the written word. Sadness is the stuff of suicide. A true goth would have died quietly with a suicide note ranting at the cruel world that killed them-- not gone into a school and taken those that hurt them with them. Totally not goth behaviour. And how many warning signs were there? Geez. After that, suddenly the schools became more "compassionate" toward their "freak" crowds... PLEASE. They just found the evidence they needed to invade the poor kids' privacy even more, and get the goodguy badge for doing it.
Besides, any REAL goth can tell you, if you're a goth, you NEVER claim to be a goth. I'm not a goth, either.
Sooo.. I have theory on this one. I think the reason people in general tend to block out next-door serial murderers is because they consider themselves "normal" and "safe. The guy next door-- sure he drags heavy bags out to the curb and sure they leak blood from time to time, but he LOOKS "normal" and is therefore "safe. The lil freak kids down the road who tend to get rowdy on occasion when drinking, well, clearly THEY'RE odd and therefore devil worshippers and naturally are sacrificing humans to the devil, better call the cops. *please note my heavy sarcasm here*
I think the worst thing I ever did in my highschool years was stay up for three days straight at my friend Jen's house (we had an all-weekend sleepover). We watched movies, dyed our hair purple and red with Kool-Aid, then on the morning of the third day, we sat out on the roof of her garage, watching the sunrise. Her neighbors (who were terrified of us for some reason) came outside, and we called out to them and said hello. They ran back inside. We got giddy and decided to mess with them. Next time they came out, we asked them if they knew why boats were disappearing in the Bermuda Triangle, then replied that Elvis needed the boats.
OOooohhh.. watch out, we're so terrifying! Oh my goth!
In conclusion, I believe society is doomed to failure, because almost everyone is so terrified of the smart people with creative ability that they would rather breed with the star athlete instead-- who has severe self-esteem issues, and is completely repressed, and wow, what about that genetic psychosis running on both his mom and dad's bloodlines? FUN. Gimme some of THAT for my kids! So instead, the "freaks" --aka the well-adjusted individuals with intelligence and enlightenment-- are being outcast along with the educated, the creative, and the logical from society's general genepool to make way for the athletic, the superior build (nope.. no drugs THERE), and the psychotic tendencies. We're supposed to be sooo advanced, and yet we're still thinking with the things between our legs.... So much for the "thinking" animal. Society will eventually be as dumb and non-functional as a box of purebred dalmations.
Or will the serial killers thin the herd?
1:31pm
NORMAL PEOPLE ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS FREAKS (PART II)
OK. So I have successfully ousted myself as a non-normal. Then again, I think that was probably out there from day 1. Either way, my gripe is, after all the evidence of murderer's "normal" behaviour, how are we as a society still so unawares of what's going on around us and sometimes right next door to us?
In my case, just as an example, I was assaulted a couple of years ago. The guy who did it LOOKED completely normal, like someone you'd take home to meet the parents. Turns out, the guy had quite the record. Repeat offender, violating parole, pseudo-recovering CRACKHEAD. I mean, COME ON. The worst part: The cops put ME on trial. They asked me things like Did I start the fight, did I provoke this guy in any way, what was I WEARING? CHRIST! I looked the sergeant in the eye and asked him if his department always blamed the victim or if this was some sort of old policy from pre-women's sufferage days that they just never threw out. he got so flustered that he started making EXCUSES for this guy that nearly beat me to death. The guy was drunk, he was drinking JACK DANIELS (which, truth be known, I can out away quite a bit of Jack myself, but I don't go out afterward and try to kill people I don't know), etc. I can't even explain how furious I was. I ended up doing all the detective work the police shoould have been doing, and I tracked the guy down, brought the cops pictures, and gave them his name and address. I don't even have any training in that one, and it was done in a week.
When we got to the trial date, my father and mother came with me. My father was waiting to get a good look at this guy, and when he saw him, he asked me if I was SURE this was the guy. he asked if the guy looked that way when he beat me up, and I said yeah. Dad was upset. He was expecting some horrible beast of a man, and what he got was a baby-faced conservative-looking kid.
My point is, WHY do we keep this impression that normal is better, when the so-called normal people are the most messed up ones psychologically? If we want to take it one step further of how fact is stranger than fiction: FILM STORIES. Seriously. We watch these films with women and men who appear EXTRA normal, and they turn out to be the most heinous villains. One film I can think of is The In Crowd, where a rich bitch befriends a "working class" girl, then totally goes more insane than she was, and tries to frame miss workergirl as a murdering psycho. Everyone suspects that the workergirl is a murderingpsycho, and they lock her up. Rich bitch goes free to kill again. It finally takes one of the rich bitch's own kind to figure out the truth, and they devise a plan to show everyone at the country club that the rich bitch is the real psycho and has been a serial murderer for some time. So, to spoil the movie: End scene there's a watery swimming pool conflict between rich bitch and workergirl, FINALLY everyone SEES that this chick is TRULY off her rocker, and only then do they stop persecuting the Outsider. The rich bitch psycho then goes on to make a speech, completely flipping out and showing her contempt for everyone at the countryclub, telling them STILL that the workergirl was an Outsider, and CRAZY, and that she, the rich bitch, was not crazy.... Denial. Gotta love it.
So as a society, think about this one: we're DOOOMED. We work so hard at finding things we consider "normal" and therefore "safe" that we have begun to breed psychosis and murder into the society, and push out the "freaks" (who are usually the more adjusted individuals, and who go on to make up 90% of the artists, geniuses, inventors, mathematicians, and scientists, by the way). And this is a good thing WHY?
Time to smell the coffee... seriously.
>The U.S. has a great athletics department in most of the public schools.... not enough funding half the time for the arts and music programs, but wow, they have great-looking football and basketball uniforms, don't they?
>The U.S. (oddly enough) is ranked amongst the lowest in the world in education-- you mean Football isn't Physics?
>The U.S. has a habit of paying next to nothing for teachers and nurses... and then wonder why the healthcare and education systems suck.
>Traditionally U.S. corporations cut back their training departments the minute a recession hits or they haven't met the numbers they were hoping to hit, thus sacrificing quality products and potentially even the safety of everyone involved-- including the consumer. You think factory workers in a pharmaceutical company just KNOW how to work heavy machinery? There's someone out there who trains them, and who keeps them up to speed.
>A company will hire you if you have experience, but only if you don't have enough of a degree backing that experience to ask for more money.
>A masters degree will get the response "needs more experience" for a position that asks for an instructional designer with no experience. Don't ask me... it happened to me. Later found out my would-be job was usurped by a recent graduate with a four-year Bachelors degree, who needed a greencard to work in this country and who barely (and I mean BARELY spoke English).
>So basically, if I'm reading this right, the US wants everyone to be educated and up-to-speed on everything, HOW exactly? Everyone's expected to be well-adjusted and happy-normal WHY?
On one hand we have Hollywood showing us that popularity is everything, geeks and freaks are not to be accepted, YET-- the popular "normal" ones are shown on news reports as having grown up and graduated to become the quiet ones we warn each other about, police having found 20 bodies in the basement. And those ones always make the best thriller movies, don't they?
How many times do we HONESTLY see a true FREAK in the news? There was Columbine, yes, but honestly, look at those kids. They weren't true freaks. Listening to Rammstein (which, by the way, when translated to english turns out to be mostly love songs, believe it or not) or KMFDM does not make you a "goth" by any means. As sorry as I feel for the parents of the kids that died, I feel more sorry that those kids that did it were labelled goth. Anger is for channeling to the written word. Sadness is the stuff of suicide. A true goth would have died quietly with a suicide note ranting at the cruel world that killed them-- not gone into a school and taken those that hurt them with them. Totally not goth behaviour. And how many warning signs were there? Geez. After that, suddenly the schools became more "compassionate" toward their "freak" crowds... PLEASE. They just found the evidence they needed to invade the poor kids' privacy even more, and get the goodguy badge for doing it.
Besides, any REAL goth can tell you, if you're a goth, you NEVER claim to be a goth. I'm not a goth, either.
Sooo.. I have theory on this one. I think the reason people in general tend to block out next-door serial murderers is because they consider themselves "normal" and "safe. The guy next door-- sure he drags heavy bags out to the curb and sure they leak blood from time to time, but he LOOKS "normal" and is therefore "safe. The lil freak kids down the road who tend to get rowdy on occasion when drinking, well, clearly THEY'RE odd and therefore devil worshippers and naturally are sacrificing humans to the devil, better call the cops. *please note my heavy sarcasm here*
I think the worst thing I ever did in my highschool years was stay up for three days straight at my friend Jen's house (we had an all-weekend sleepover). We watched movies, dyed our hair purple and red with Kool-Aid, then on the morning of the third day, we sat out on the roof of her garage, watching the sunrise. Her neighbors (who were terrified of us for some reason) came outside, and we called out to them and said hello. They ran back inside. We got giddy and decided to mess with them. Next time they came out, we asked them if they knew why boats were disappearing in the Bermuda Triangle, then replied that Elvis needed the boats.
OOooohhh.. watch out, we're so terrifying! Oh my goth!
In conclusion, I believe society is doomed to failure, because almost everyone is so terrified of the smart people with creative ability that they would rather breed with the star athlete instead-- who has severe self-esteem issues, and is completely repressed, and wow, what about that genetic psychosis running on both his mom and dad's bloodlines? FUN. Gimme some of THAT for my kids! So instead, the "freaks" --aka the well-adjusted individuals with intelligence and enlightenment-- are being outcast along with the educated, the creative, and the logical from society's general genepool to make way for the athletic, the superior build (nope.. no drugs THERE), and the psychotic tendencies. We're supposed to be sooo advanced, and yet we're still thinking with the things between our legs.... So much for the "thinking" animal. Society will eventually be as dumb and non-functional as a box of purebred dalmations.
Or will the serial killers thin the herd?
Wednesday, June 05, 2002
10:41pm
NORMAL PEOPLE ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS FREAKS
The Munsters... proving yet again just how society functions. In this episode the local normal kid wants to play with Eddie Munster, and he threatens him with exposure and blackmails him to do what he wants, bullying poor law-abiding Eddie Munster into doing something he doesn't want to do.
And how often have _I_ seen THAT happen? Way too often. Too much I've seen the "normal" and "god-fearing" people performing heinous acts of moral disgrace. And who gets blamed? The goths, the punks, the "freaks". How often have we seen it in the news? Always the slack-jawed neighbors are interviewed by the local news after some mass homicide or something TRULY twisted, and the neighbors ALWAYS have the SAME DAMNED RESPONSE: "Uhhhh.. I can't b'lieve it... he was so quiet", "Wow... she was so normal, I never would have expected it, she was so polite." And let's not forget the famous ones: "They were always very quiet and very polite. They never bothered anyone." --until they crashed two planes into the World Trade Center, of course. Why we haven't started to investigate the most seemingly normal people I don't know. Wrap yer teeth around this juicy tidbit, here's some more folks who were considered normal and non-threatening by those that knew them-- and just to show that women ARE as messed in the head as men, I'm including them here, too:
Jeffery Dahmer
Lizzy Borden
Ed Gein
Ted Bundy
Susan Smith-- a mother and a killer
John Wayne Gacy-- ok.. granted, he was a clown, but come on.. symbol of cheer.. eek
Lorena Bobbit-- not a serial murderer, but she wasn't all there, either
Beverly Allitt-- pediatric nurse
Albert De Salvo (interesting tidbit here, he was honored for his "Service" to his country by the State of TX-- the guy is also known as The Boston Strangler...
Joe Ball-- unassuming tavern owner who had some alligators as pets....
Adolph Hitler-- no one saw it til it was waay too late
Peter Kurten-- aka The Dusseldorf Vampire, married even, but described in hindsight (always, right?) as "a narcissistic psychopath" and "a king of sexual perverts"...
John George Haigh-- aka The Acid Bath Murderer. This guy made FRIENDS with those he intended to kill, and drank their blood. FUN.
Just to name a few...
So my point is, the true freaks are your most average, normal, everyday, friendly unassuming next door neighbor. Bet they have a basement full of bodies and a skeleton in every closet--no pun intended.
So quit bothering the "freaks". They're the most normal because they aren't repressing.
And they're the safest neighbors to have. :)
NORMAL PEOPLE ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS FREAKS
The Munsters... proving yet again just how society functions. In this episode the local normal kid wants to play with Eddie Munster, and he threatens him with exposure and blackmails him to do what he wants, bullying poor law-abiding Eddie Munster into doing something he doesn't want to do.
And how often have _I_ seen THAT happen? Way too often. Too much I've seen the "normal" and "god-fearing" people performing heinous acts of moral disgrace. And who gets blamed? The goths, the punks, the "freaks". How often have we seen it in the news? Always the slack-jawed neighbors are interviewed by the local news after some mass homicide or something TRULY twisted, and the neighbors ALWAYS have the SAME DAMNED RESPONSE: "Uhhhh.. I can't b'lieve it... he was so quiet", "Wow... she was so normal, I never would have expected it, she was so polite." And let's not forget the famous ones: "They were always very quiet and very polite. They never bothered anyone." --until they crashed two planes into the World Trade Center, of course. Why we haven't started to investigate the most seemingly normal people I don't know. Wrap yer teeth around this juicy tidbit, here's some more folks who were considered normal and non-threatening by those that knew them-- and just to show that women ARE as messed in the head as men, I'm including them here, too:
Jeffery Dahmer
Lizzy Borden
Ed Gein
Ted Bundy
Susan Smith-- a mother and a killer
John Wayne Gacy-- ok.. granted, he was a clown, but come on.. symbol of cheer.. eek
Lorena Bobbit-- not a serial murderer, but she wasn't all there, either
Beverly Allitt-- pediatric nurse
Albert De Salvo (interesting tidbit here, he was honored for his "Service" to his country by the State of TX-- the guy is also known as The Boston Strangler...
Joe Ball-- unassuming tavern owner who had some alligators as pets....
Adolph Hitler-- no one saw it til it was waay too late
Peter Kurten-- aka The Dusseldorf Vampire, married even, but described in hindsight (always, right?) as "a narcissistic psychopath" and "a king of sexual perverts"...
John George Haigh-- aka The Acid Bath Murderer. This guy made FRIENDS with those he intended to kill, and drank their blood. FUN.
Just to name a few...
So my point is, the true freaks are your most average, normal, everyday, friendly unassuming next door neighbor. Bet they have a basement full of bodies and a skeleton in every closet--no pun intended.
So quit bothering the "freaks". They're the most normal because they aren't repressing.
And they're the safest neighbors to have. :)
6/05/02
3:31pm
THE ORIGINS?-- AND APPARENT RESURRECTION AND REHASHING-- OF MOOSECOCK!
I was chatting on MSN's instant mess with friend-Christian from Legion Studios when he gave me a link to his own personal web journal..... Well, I'm a voyeur, so I went and looked. One of his entries was about a friend of his saying "Moosecock!"
I almost peed myself laughing, because this brought back memories of 1996, it was a nice day, and the JCSC Cafeteria Crew were in full effect, hanging out on The Wall (which had a subsequent 35 foot drop to solid concrete, but that's where we loved to hang out while drunk). I admit it, I was drunk, and a few of my friends were more than drunk and about as stoned as your average rock quarry. We were all sitting there, and one of our friend's hats fell over the edge of the wall, and I said something to the effect of, "That sucks some major moosecock."
My one friend looked at me, blinked in that squinty fashion, and scratched out "What?!"
I looked right back at her and said, "MOOSECOCK!"
It became a popular phrase around the cafe, shouted at the cafeteria workers who looked at us a little too long while we created 7 foot sculpture from our garbage. Eventually the workers took our salt and pepper shakers so we would have nothing to build with, so we stole more from other tables. The workers kept taking them from our table, so as a revenge tactic, we systematically took ALL the salt and pepper shakers from every table in the cafeteria, and hid them behind one of our area's booth chairs. Sick thing is, after the workers found them, they put them all back out on the tables for people to use-- from off the gross sticky spider-webby floor. GACK!
So imagine my surprise when I see this same word pertaining to moose genitalia mentioned in my friend's journal! I will not claim that I am the origin of this phrase, however, merely a moosecock revivalist.
I am, however, the inventor of "Mansonite" to describe those weird lil spooky kids.
So... in ending... Christian's telling of the Moosecock Joke, as only he can tell it via MSN's Instant mess:
Puff Chrissy says:
Okay, okay. So there are two Canadians on a long trip in this pick-up truck. The radio isn’t working and they have run out of things to talk about, so the driver says, ‘Want to play Twenty-Questions?’ The other Canadian goes: ‘Okay. Go ahead and think of something.’ So the driver is thinking and thinking, and he finally comes up with something: moosecock.
‘Okay, I have something. Ask the first question.’ The other Canadian says, ‘Hmm…is it something that you can eat?’ The driver thinks about it and says ‘Well, I guess you could if you wanted to.’ The other Canadian says, ‘Moosecock?’ "
3:31pm
THE ORIGINS?-- AND APPARENT RESURRECTION AND REHASHING-- OF MOOSECOCK!
I was chatting on MSN's instant mess with friend-Christian from Legion Studios when he gave me a link to his own personal web journal..... Well, I'm a voyeur, so I went and looked. One of his entries was about a friend of his saying "Moosecock!"
I almost peed myself laughing, because this brought back memories of 1996, it was a nice day, and the JCSC Cafeteria Crew were in full effect, hanging out on The Wall (which had a subsequent 35 foot drop to solid concrete, but that's where we loved to hang out while drunk). I admit it, I was drunk, and a few of my friends were more than drunk and about as stoned as your average rock quarry. We were all sitting there, and one of our friend's hats fell over the edge of the wall, and I said something to the effect of, "That sucks some major moosecock."
My one friend looked at me, blinked in that squinty fashion, and scratched out "What?!"
I looked right back at her and said, "MOOSECOCK!"
It became a popular phrase around the cafe, shouted at the cafeteria workers who looked at us a little too long while we created 7 foot sculpture from our garbage. Eventually the workers took our salt and pepper shakers so we would have nothing to build with, so we stole more from other tables. The workers kept taking them from our table, so as a revenge tactic, we systematically took ALL the salt and pepper shakers from every table in the cafeteria, and hid them behind one of our area's booth chairs. Sick thing is, after the workers found them, they put them all back out on the tables for people to use-- from off the gross sticky spider-webby floor. GACK!
So imagine my surprise when I see this same word pertaining to moose genitalia mentioned in my friend's journal! I will not claim that I am the origin of this phrase, however, merely a moosecock revivalist.
I am, however, the inventor of "Mansonite" to describe those weird lil spooky kids.
So... in ending... Christian's telling of the Moosecock Joke, as only he can tell it via MSN's Instant mess:
Puff Chrissy says:
Okay, okay. So there are two Canadians on a long trip in this pick-up truck. The radio isn’t working and they have run out of things to talk about, so the driver says, ‘Want to play Twenty-Questions?’ The other Canadian goes: ‘Okay. Go ahead and think of something.’ So the driver is thinking and thinking, and he finally comes up with something: moosecock.
‘Okay, I have something. Ask the first question.’ The other Canadian says, ‘Hmm…is it something that you can eat?’ The driver thinks about it and says ‘Well, I guess you could if you wanted to.’ The other Canadian says, ‘Moosecock?’ "
Tuesday, June 04, 2002
10:20pm
MEMORIES.... AND OTHER STUFF I FOUND IN MY SUBCONSCIOUS
So my friend Monica just brought all the memories I'd been fighting against-- and some I didn't even know I HAD-- flooding to the forefront of my brainnnnns....
Wow... after looking at this '80's site, I realized just how much of the 80's I missed as a child. I lived in a less-than-populated area until 4th grade. (And although this will inevitably sound like a skit parents would use on their kids, i swear it's all true) We only got one TV station. Channel 12. It was as if someone had a non-funded PBS station (no muppets except for the Muppet Show at 7pm on Friday nights-- assuming Billy Graham, damn his eyes, didn't have a "special presentation" on at the time) mixed with the worst news and talk programs of CBS. NOt much for a kid to look forward to, and by the end, even the Saturday morning cartoons were being cutback for more football games.
I actually dressed up like Boy George for Halloween in fourth grade. Would it hurt my 'I'm mostly straight' argument if I admitted to having had a HUGE crush on Boy George? If I am gay, I blame the 80's. Damn straight-- no pun intended. I mean, seriously. What did I have to look up and teach me sexuality in my formative years? Annie Lenox as my TV dad and Boy George as my TV mom? Or vice versa? Where could I go from there? It was fashionable to look like a girl if you were a guy, and to look like an androgyne if you were a girl. I pranced through the late-end of metal and punk... And then I became a goth... where the 80's have found permanent residence, and gender lines are constantly challenged... Dear sweet jebus. It's a wonder I have any straightness left in me at all... Maybe Pat Benatar should be my scapegoat....
Onward and upward to the present. I STILL like to dress in men's suits (they're COMFORTABLE! Way more comfy than a woman's crappy suit), women love me, and men want to BE me... or is it the other way around? Damn you 1980's!!!!!
I need to go on a retreat and try to find my inner gender. Last time I checked, the outside was still a woman. just gets mixed up in the head on occasion with my views on relationships, jealousy, being one-of-the-guys, etc, etc. I'm just not a lot in the bitch department.
There should be an 80's support group and free councilling for all of us who suffered the 80's. Some sort of 80's crisis hotline, 'Help! My hair isn't high enough and they discontinued my favorite hair spray cuz it killed the seals!!'
You know... shit like that. :)
Oh yeah, has anyone seen my tub of Dippity-do? My Robert Smith do is horridly flat since the '90's...
MEMORIES.... AND OTHER STUFF I FOUND IN MY SUBCONSCIOUS
So my friend Monica just brought all the memories I'd been fighting against-- and some I didn't even know I HAD-- flooding to the forefront of my brainnnnns....
Wow... after looking at this '80's site, I realized just how much of the 80's I missed as a child. I lived in a less-than-populated area until 4th grade. (And although this will inevitably sound like a skit parents would use on their kids, i swear it's all true) We only got one TV station. Channel 12. It was as if someone had a non-funded PBS station (no muppets except for the Muppet Show at 7pm on Friday nights-- assuming Billy Graham, damn his eyes, didn't have a "special presentation" on at the time) mixed with the worst news and talk programs of CBS. NOt much for a kid to look forward to, and by the end, even the Saturday morning cartoons were being cutback for more football games.
I actually dressed up like Boy George for Halloween in fourth grade. Would it hurt my 'I'm mostly straight' argument if I admitted to having had a HUGE crush on Boy George? If I am gay, I blame the 80's. Damn straight-- no pun intended. I mean, seriously. What did I have to look up and teach me sexuality in my formative years? Annie Lenox as my TV dad and Boy George as my TV mom? Or vice versa? Where could I go from there? It was fashionable to look like a girl if you were a guy, and to look like an androgyne if you were a girl. I pranced through the late-end of metal and punk... And then I became a goth... where the 80's have found permanent residence, and gender lines are constantly challenged... Dear sweet jebus. It's a wonder I have any straightness left in me at all... Maybe Pat Benatar should be my scapegoat....
Onward and upward to the present. I STILL like to dress in men's suits (they're COMFORTABLE! Way more comfy than a woman's crappy suit), women love me, and men want to BE me... or is it the other way around? Damn you 1980's!!!!!
I need to go on a retreat and try to find my inner gender. Last time I checked, the outside was still a woman. just gets mixed up in the head on occasion with my views on relationships, jealousy, being one-of-the-guys, etc, etc. I'm just not a lot in the bitch department.
There should be an 80's support group and free councilling for all of us who suffered the 80's. Some sort of 80's crisis hotline, 'Help! My hair isn't high enough and they discontinued my favorite hair spray cuz it killed the seals!!'
You know... shit like that. :)
Oh yeah, has anyone seen my tub of Dippity-do? My Robert Smith do is horridly flat since the '90's...
9:22pm
YOU EVER GET SOMETHING CAUGHT IN YOUR TOOTH, AND YOU JUST KNOW IT'S FESTERING THERE?
So that's what I'm going through at the moment. I have a sneaking suspicion it might just be lettuce.... either way it's CAUGHT, and I cut all my nails off, so it will have to stay stuck until I can pry it out with a toothbrush.....
.....................
.............
ARRRRGH!!! DAmmit, I'm gonna have to go get the toothbrush now.. Dammit damiit dammit!!!
9:27pm
OK... Finally got whatever was stuck in my tooth out, and to my shock and amazement, it wasn't lettuce... I felt vaguely disappointed. I was waiting for this powerful sense of AH-HA! at wresting this errant piece of lettuce from my tooth, only to be thwarted by whatever it was I pulled out. Damn. I feel cheated.
YOU EVER GET SOMETHING CAUGHT IN YOUR TOOTH, AND YOU JUST KNOW IT'S FESTERING THERE?
So that's what I'm going through at the moment. I have a sneaking suspicion it might just be lettuce.... either way it's CAUGHT, and I cut all my nails off, so it will have to stay stuck until I can pry it out with a toothbrush.....
.....................
.............
ARRRRGH!!! DAmmit, I'm gonna have to go get the toothbrush now.. Dammit damiit dammit!!!
9:27pm
OK... Finally got whatever was stuck in my tooth out, and to my shock and amazement, it wasn't lettuce... I felt vaguely disappointed. I was waiting for this powerful sense of AH-HA! at wresting this errant piece of lettuce from my tooth, only to be thwarted by whatever it was I pulled out. Damn. I feel cheated.
6/04/02
7:42pm
LIGHTING AND LECTURE AND BASIC AND HOW
Mellow, twisted it. I had an interview at one of the best media colleges in the WORLD yesterday, and actually got called back for a stand-up test. As excited as I am, I'm praying that I haven't forgotten everything I ever learned from my media degree, since my stand-up test is an hour long lecture in front of a classroom of potentially 120 people, including a council of peers. How terrified am I?
The folks and even Dante seem to think I'll have no problem passing this test with flying colors. I, however, have begun a mad internet dash and a re-reading of all my media technique books so that I will be as up to speed as I used to be before I was swallowed whole by Corporate America. As scared as I am of actually doing this, I'm looking forward to it, as well. Once I get over my stage fright, I could be really happy about this job. Assuming I get hired, of course.
Terrifying, exciting, thrilling. The pursuit of Something New. And at a university where it seems I might just fit in. I'm not sure what scares me more: failure, or success and having a place where I can be happy at work.... I guess I got so used to stress and being unsatisfied--and worse, unappreciated-- that now that I have this opportunity, failure is not an option. I want this more than I want anything, and I will do my very best to get it. The door is open, and being held open for me. Who am I to refuse the invitation???
7:42pm
LIGHTING AND LECTURE AND BASIC AND HOW
Mellow, twisted it. I had an interview at one of the best media colleges in the WORLD yesterday, and actually got called back for a stand-up test. As excited as I am, I'm praying that I haven't forgotten everything I ever learned from my media degree, since my stand-up test is an hour long lecture in front of a classroom of potentially 120 people, including a council of peers. How terrified am I?
The folks and even Dante seem to think I'll have no problem passing this test with flying colors. I, however, have begun a mad internet dash and a re-reading of all my media technique books so that I will be as up to speed as I used to be before I was swallowed whole by Corporate America. As scared as I am of actually doing this, I'm looking forward to it, as well. Once I get over my stage fright, I could be really happy about this job. Assuming I get hired, of course.
Terrifying, exciting, thrilling. The pursuit of Something New. And at a university where it seems I might just fit in. I'm not sure what scares me more: failure, or success and having a place where I can be happy at work.... I guess I got so used to stress and being unsatisfied--and worse, unappreciated-- that now that I have this opportunity, failure is not an option. I want this more than I want anything, and I will do my very best to get it. The door is open, and being held open for me. Who am I to refuse the invitation???
Sunday, June 02, 2002
6/02/02
1:05pm
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE MANIC DEPRESSIVE
Wow.. it looks so much more scary when it's all written out like that.... Like I might actually have something wrong with me.
Yesh, we have established the manic and the depressed part of me. At least, I think I did. If not, I am, and no, I HAVEN'T taken my pills, dammit!!! Not yet, anyway. The doctors and shrinks teamed up and turned me into a psychiatric guinea pig, put me on Zoloft (and we found out what happens to a manic depressed person when THAT drug is introduced--bad bad things), then got scared when I quit the Zoloft cold turkey. That's right. Cold turkey, and IT SUCKED. Next drug was Celexa, which seemed to work a lil better, and I actually don't have to take it like i used to, which is good. I'm an active girl with an active day. Don't have time to take drugs. Don't have the patience to be dependant on them either.
As to the OCD, yeah, I'm that too. And sometimes that's even worse than the rock-bottom depression. Most people have this impression of an obsessive-compulsive as being a chronic hand-washer or neat-freak, but there's more types of OCD than just that. In my case, it's chronic neat-freak-ness as well, but most of the time certain thoughts and memories keep running through my head non-stop. This week I have a sneaking suspicion that someone I hate has an online journal, so I've begun reading other folks' online journals in the hope of discovering --what? I have no clue. I KNOW it's crazy, duh, I'm just kind of unable to stop this speeding train of thought. I've actually had to sit down and meditate on BREATHING just to shut my mind up. It's frustrating, and one of the few reasons I miss taking my pills. Mind silence. No looping thought patterns, no OCD. I find it acts up when I'm bored, when there's not twenty things going on outside my head to keep my brain occupied. It's aggravating, because the major part of my brain is over everything from the past, even at peace with everything because RATIONALLY I can look at everything and say, 'yes, it all served a purpose and things will get better now.' while the other, smaller part of my brain is still IN the past, reliving everything and wishing for different outcomes, suspecting that if it could just show PROOF to the rational part that it's not insanity talking, then the full brain would be involved in this insane wild goosechase. It's annoying. I can see the loop, already know what's in it, and I know I don't want it, but it just keeps going. It's lessened slightly since I started doing more meditating, but it flares up when I haven't slept-- Last night was the worst. Pants was crying at the door for half the night, then stopped, then started up again at 5am..... I spread peppermint leaves all over the floor in hopes it would act like catnip and chill her out. It worked to an extent, thank god... And Dante SNORED.... more than usual. I have to admit, in the department of stupid human tricks he's got a few. Last night he managed to snore out of his mouth AND nose AT THE SAME TIME.....it was so LOUD. I ended up just going onto the couch in the living room-- and the snoring RESONATED... How tempted I was to put the pillow over HIS head at that point. I stood in the middle of the living room and yelled at Pants and Dante to shut the hell up or they were BOTH getting hit with the water bottle. That was at 6am.... And then Dante woke me up at 8am, 9am, and finally 10am with the damned alarm clock. He had the NERVE to tell me how he had such a hard time getting up, and why was he so tired....Lucky bastard sleeps like the dead.
Yeah. So. Nights like last night are most likely the cause of most of my mental issues. That and my insanity.
1:05pm
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE MANIC DEPRESSIVE
Wow.. it looks so much more scary when it's all written out like that.... Like I might actually have something wrong with me.
Yesh, we have established the manic and the depressed part of me. At least, I think I did. If not, I am, and no, I HAVEN'T taken my pills, dammit!!! Not yet, anyway. The doctors and shrinks teamed up and turned me into a psychiatric guinea pig, put me on Zoloft (and we found out what happens to a manic depressed person when THAT drug is introduced--bad bad things), then got scared when I quit the Zoloft cold turkey. That's right. Cold turkey, and IT SUCKED. Next drug was Celexa, which seemed to work a lil better, and I actually don't have to take it like i used to, which is good. I'm an active girl with an active day. Don't have time to take drugs. Don't have the patience to be dependant on them either.
As to the OCD, yeah, I'm that too. And sometimes that's even worse than the rock-bottom depression. Most people have this impression of an obsessive-compulsive as being a chronic hand-washer or neat-freak, but there's more types of OCD than just that. In my case, it's chronic neat-freak-ness as well, but most of the time certain thoughts and memories keep running through my head non-stop. This week I have a sneaking suspicion that someone I hate has an online journal, so I've begun reading other folks' online journals in the hope of discovering --what? I have no clue. I KNOW it's crazy, duh, I'm just kind of unable to stop this speeding train of thought. I've actually had to sit down and meditate on BREATHING just to shut my mind up. It's frustrating, and one of the few reasons I miss taking my pills. Mind silence. No looping thought patterns, no OCD. I find it acts up when I'm bored, when there's not twenty things going on outside my head to keep my brain occupied. It's aggravating, because the major part of my brain is over everything from the past, even at peace with everything because RATIONALLY I can look at everything and say, 'yes, it all served a purpose and things will get better now.' while the other, smaller part of my brain is still IN the past, reliving everything and wishing for different outcomes, suspecting that if it could just show PROOF to the rational part that it's not insanity talking, then the full brain would be involved in this insane wild goosechase. It's annoying. I can see the loop, already know what's in it, and I know I don't want it, but it just keeps going. It's lessened slightly since I started doing more meditating, but it flares up when I haven't slept-- Last night was the worst. Pants was crying at the door for half the night, then stopped, then started up again at 5am..... I spread peppermint leaves all over the floor in hopes it would act like catnip and chill her out. It worked to an extent, thank god... And Dante SNORED.... more than usual. I have to admit, in the department of stupid human tricks he's got a few. Last night he managed to snore out of his mouth AND nose AT THE SAME TIME.....it was so LOUD. I ended up just going onto the couch in the living room-- and the snoring RESONATED... How tempted I was to put the pillow over HIS head at that point. I stood in the middle of the living room and yelled at Pants and Dante to shut the hell up or they were BOTH getting hit with the water bottle. That was at 6am.... And then Dante woke me up at 8am, 9am, and finally 10am with the damned alarm clock. He had the NERVE to tell me how he had such a hard time getting up, and why was he so tired....Lucky bastard sleeps like the dead.
Yeah. So. Nights like last night are most likely the cause of most of my mental issues. That and my insanity.
Saturday, June 01, 2002
10:55pm
WAITING GAME AND WHY WOMEN SUCK
Waiting for the Beast to call me back. She's probably already in the Land of Unconscia. I swear sometimes I honestly believe my mother's family are all reverse vampires. They rise with the sun, feed during the day, and as soon as the sun sets, they all turn into narcoleptics. Odd odd odd. Beast even sent me a package, containing a ring that matches one she got for herself and a third one for the Wenchling. Amethysts in gold. Pretty, but I never really wear gold. Gotta love the Beast, though.
Latest news: Pants is in heat. Oh yeah, it's sooo official now. She was doing the come-get-me-boys dance all over the living room floor. Ick. Cat ooze is really not a pretty thing. Poor Dante had no clue, and now he's got two females doing the happy dance for him.. LOL. I'd like to believe the human version of it is a lot more subtle, since humans don't normally have tails.
So I get to hear all these disturbing stories from where Dante works. I got to meet all the people he works with, and they seemed nice enough, but JESUS, did they TALK. I never knew women talked so damned much! And about NOTHING! One girl went on and on about her boyfriend and how wonderful and GORGEOUS he is, and wouldn't shut UP about this guy to the woman whose hair she was cutting, so much so that _I_ was ready to tell her to be quiet while I waited for Dante to finish mixing my colour. GAWD. Just to make things more interesting, this same verbal fountain HIT ON DANTE while I WAS SITTING THERE. Talk about lack of respect! EEEeeew! The worst part was her blatant innuendoes when referring to her 7-inch scissors... I felt dirty after that one. Like I wasn't gonna catch on to her oh-so-subtle flirting technique, or see through her blatantly obvious hair dresser codes or something. Gross. So now that the stage is set, D-man comes home with some more war stories. This chick is also apparently some kind of religious freak. I'm all for religion, as long as I don't have to eat what they're trying to feed me at the picnics. So this chick-- the same one who made an excited reference to MY BOYFRIEND of how much she couldn't wait to get her hands on her 7-inch scissors right after spewing so much crap about how in love she is with some guy-- was spewing today about her church, and the picnic, and how PURE she is.... *ahem! Pure as New York snow, I'm SURE* and then in the next breath going on about the guy again, and how he has now left town, but they're still together *cough! Yeah right!*
After listening to this girl gushing like a waterfall for a mere three hours, I can only IMAGINE the hell it must be for poor D-man to have to work next to her. After meeting her, I understood men and their hangups with women.. Scary but true... She gives women a bad name. She cancels out all the cool women in this area. There should be some kind of roundup squad that goes out and collects women that are just NOT FIT for society, or for furthering the human race, that way we just get them the hell out of the gene pool before they can start swimming in it. Got some sick hangups with men to the point you'll lie to get your way in a court of law? Out of the genepool. Psychotic? out of the genepool, please. Have no business interacting with society? Out. Flirt with a woman's boyfriend while the woman is standing next to the boyfriend? Waaay out. Lack of respect for your own kind--geez. Trying to force-feed religion to an already-fed populace? Bye bye. No pool for you. Blindly believe any and all rumors that someone you KIND OF know tells you about someone you've known for years? Ciao. Spread those rumors even after knowing there's a 95% chance they aren't true? Bitch, be gone with you! Hired or convinced a goon to go beat up an ex-boyfriend? Exit stage left, thanks. Born and raised in New Jersey? Please limit your social interactions to ONLY the state of NJ. (and I can say that because I lived there. Something in the water, I swear!) Frequently take drugs because they're fashionable these days? One word: moderation, and thanks for playing. Don't remember ANYTHING after drinking heavily, but have started more than one fight while under the influence? Drive safely off a large cliff, bye.
I guess BEING a woman, I tend to be pretty judgemental toward women on an individual basis. I have NO patience with the back-stabbing cattiness, or the gossip, or the competition. I mean, come ON. There's HOW many men in the world, and WHY do you want MINE? Not that I'm jealous, just annoyed. I know Dante will always come back, it's just I can't see the sense in those women who need ALL the men to be at their beck and call. Get over yourselves. You look trashy when you act desperate. There, I've said it. I also have no use for dishonesty, be it in women or men (BELIEVE me, my list for men quirks I dislike can go on and on, too). If you need to cheat, then you don't need a relationship. If you need to make yourself look better by telling lies to another person, then maybe it's time you start telling the truth to yourself. And with THAT happy note...... I am going to call someone.. Don't know who yet, but you'll find out when your phone rings. :)
WAITING GAME AND WHY WOMEN SUCK
Waiting for the Beast to call me back. She's probably already in the Land of Unconscia. I swear sometimes I honestly believe my mother's family are all reverse vampires. They rise with the sun, feed during the day, and as soon as the sun sets, they all turn into narcoleptics. Odd odd odd. Beast even sent me a package, containing a ring that matches one she got for herself and a third one for the Wenchling. Amethysts in gold. Pretty, but I never really wear gold. Gotta love the Beast, though.
Latest news: Pants is in heat. Oh yeah, it's sooo official now. She was doing the come-get-me-boys dance all over the living room floor. Ick. Cat ooze is really not a pretty thing. Poor Dante had no clue, and now he's got two females doing the happy dance for him.. LOL. I'd like to believe the human version of it is a lot more subtle, since humans don't normally have tails.
So I get to hear all these disturbing stories from where Dante works. I got to meet all the people he works with, and they seemed nice enough, but JESUS, did they TALK. I never knew women talked so damned much! And about NOTHING! One girl went on and on about her boyfriend and how wonderful and GORGEOUS he is, and wouldn't shut UP about this guy to the woman whose hair she was cutting, so much so that _I_ was ready to tell her to be quiet while I waited for Dante to finish mixing my colour. GAWD. Just to make things more interesting, this same verbal fountain HIT ON DANTE while I WAS SITTING THERE. Talk about lack of respect! EEEeeew! The worst part was her blatant innuendoes when referring to her 7-inch scissors... I felt dirty after that one. Like I wasn't gonna catch on to her oh-so-subtle flirting technique, or see through her blatantly obvious hair dresser codes or something. Gross. So now that the stage is set, D-man comes home with some more war stories. This chick is also apparently some kind of religious freak. I'm all for religion, as long as I don't have to eat what they're trying to feed me at the picnics. So this chick-- the same one who made an excited reference to MY BOYFRIEND of how much she couldn't wait to get her hands on her 7-inch scissors right after spewing so much crap about how in love she is with some guy-- was spewing today about her church, and the picnic, and how PURE she is.... *ahem! Pure as New York snow, I'm SURE* and then in the next breath going on about the guy again, and how he has now left town, but they're still together *cough! Yeah right!*
After listening to this girl gushing like a waterfall for a mere three hours, I can only IMAGINE the hell it must be for poor D-man to have to work next to her. After meeting her, I understood men and their hangups with women.. Scary but true... She gives women a bad name. She cancels out all the cool women in this area. There should be some kind of roundup squad that goes out and collects women that are just NOT FIT for society, or for furthering the human race, that way we just get them the hell out of the gene pool before they can start swimming in it. Got some sick hangups with men to the point you'll lie to get your way in a court of law? Out of the genepool. Psychotic? out of the genepool, please. Have no business interacting with society? Out. Flirt with a woman's boyfriend while the woman is standing next to the boyfriend? Waaay out. Lack of respect for your own kind--geez. Trying to force-feed religion to an already-fed populace? Bye bye. No pool for you. Blindly believe any and all rumors that someone you KIND OF know tells you about someone you've known for years? Ciao. Spread those rumors even after knowing there's a 95% chance they aren't true? Bitch, be gone with you! Hired or convinced a goon to go beat up an ex-boyfriend? Exit stage left, thanks. Born and raised in New Jersey? Please limit your social interactions to ONLY the state of NJ. (and I can say that because I lived there. Something in the water, I swear!) Frequently take drugs because they're fashionable these days? One word: moderation, and thanks for playing. Don't remember ANYTHING after drinking heavily, but have started more than one fight while under the influence? Drive safely off a large cliff, bye.
I guess BEING a woman, I tend to be pretty judgemental toward women on an individual basis. I have NO patience with the back-stabbing cattiness, or the gossip, or the competition. I mean, come ON. There's HOW many men in the world, and WHY do you want MINE? Not that I'm jealous, just annoyed. I know Dante will always come back, it's just I can't see the sense in those women who need ALL the men to be at their beck and call. Get over yourselves. You look trashy when you act desperate. There, I've said it. I also have no use for dishonesty, be it in women or men (BELIEVE me, my list for men quirks I dislike can go on and on, too). If you need to cheat, then you don't need a relationship. If you need to make yourself look better by telling lies to another person, then maybe it's time you start telling the truth to yourself. And with THAT happy note...... I am going to call someone.. Don't know who yet, but you'll find out when your phone rings. :)
10:11PM
AT LONG LAST A RAINBOW AT THE END OF A STORM
Two months of rainstorms, lightning flashing into Lightning Alley, and FINALLY I got the rainbow I had been wishing for since we moved here. Nature's customer service comes through with flying colours--no pun intended. Somewhere something finally clicked and said, 'hey, this chick has been asking for a RAINBOW, not RAIN. Geez, did WE miss the message! Let's make it up to her!'
There was one rainbow, subtle at first, then gradually the colours became more and more vivid against the black clouds. I ran outside with my camera, getting drenched and sunburned at the same time (you really have to love Florida weather), taking pictures of this massive rainbow. I dragged Dante out to come share the moment, then noticed a SECOND rainbow forming right next to the first one. I was ecstatic (stupid things make me manic, what can I say?). Then the first rainbow started to sprout more rainbows underneath its arch, like some sort of weird video-induced acid trail effect. But still pretty damned skippy. I took pictures and pictures, used up an entire roll of film on it. I have no regrets. If those rainbows are a sign of things to come, I'm hoping they were also a sign of coming prosperity.
AT LONG LAST A RAINBOW AT THE END OF A STORM
Two months of rainstorms, lightning flashing into Lightning Alley, and FINALLY I got the rainbow I had been wishing for since we moved here. Nature's customer service comes through with flying colours--no pun intended. Somewhere something finally clicked and said, 'hey, this chick has been asking for a RAINBOW, not RAIN. Geez, did WE miss the message! Let's make it up to her!'
There was one rainbow, subtle at first, then gradually the colours became more and more vivid against the black clouds. I ran outside with my camera, getting drenched and sunburned at the same time (you really have to love Florida weather), taking pictures of this massive rainbow. I dragged Dante out to come share the moment, then noticed a SECOND rainbow forming right next to the first one. I was ecstatic (stupid things make me manic, what can I say?). Then the first rainbow started to sprout more rainbows underneath its arch, like some sort of weird video-induced acid trail effect. But still pretty damned skippy. I took pictures and pictures, used up an entire roll of film on it. I have no regrets. If those rainbows are a sign of things to come, I'm hoping they were also a sign of coming prosperity.
6/01/02
12:02am
WORDS NOT SPOKEN, LIFE NOT LIVED
A moment of serenity, clarity even, inside my head. Quiet. Peace and QUIET on the INSIDE. How many people take that for granted-- the silence of thought? How many people don't have to worry about the constant noise in their heads? How many people have nothing to listen to, no driving force between their ears? How many people are just completely empty?
I guess I wonder at how so many people can be on this planet and yet NOT be HERE. They never saw a sunrise, never appreciated a perfectly blue sky with perfectly white cottonball clouds. They never SAW life and their part in it. All they see is themselves, never anything else. I find that disturbing. Life offers so many treats in the everyday grind, but all most people will see is their own private hell. I'd feel pity for them if I didn't know it was their own fault for suffering the way they do. With my own angst and drama in my everyday life, I appreciate and live every moment I can. The good moments are there, and I live them to the fullest. The bad times are also there, and I try to chalk them up to experience and learn from them. To deny the bad is to ignore the good. To live a full life is to live both bad times and good times. The glass isn't half full, and the glass isn't half empty. Just depends on how thirsty you are when you look at the glass... and how much you believe that that glass actually exists....
Ahhhhhh.... the Mr. Hell Show. :)
12:02am
WORDS NOT SPOKEN, LIFE NOT LIVED
A moment of serenity, clarity even, inside my head. Quiet. Peace and QUIET on the INSIDE. How many people take that for granted-- the silence of thought? How many people don't have to worry about the constant noise in their heads? How many people have nothing to listen to, no driving force between their ears? How many people are just completely empty?
I guess I wonder at how so many people can be on this planet and yet NOT be HERE. They never saw a sunrise, never appreciated a perfectly blue sky with perfectly white cottonball clouds. They never SAW life and their part in it. All they see is themselves, never anything else. I find that disturbing. Life offers so many treats in the everyday grind, but all most people will see is their own private hell. I'd feel pity for them if I didn't know it was their own fault for suffering the way they do. With my own angst and drama in my everyday life, I appreciate and live every moment I can. The good moments are there, and I live them to the fullest. The bad times are also there, and I try to chalk them up to experience and learn from them. To deny the bad is to ignore the good. To live a full life is to live both bad times and good times. The glass isn't half full, and the glass isn't half empty. Just depends on how thirsty you are when you look at the glass... and how much you believe that that glass actually exists....
Ahhhhhh.... the Mr. Hell Show. :)
Friday, May 31, 2002
11:30PM
WHEN THE BUGS RUN AROUND THE CORNERS OF YOUR VISION
I think they call it insanity.... Either way, I'm tired enough that I'm starting to see REALLY HORKIN HUGE BUGS crawling along the peripherals... kind of creepy. OK.. VERY creepy. I hate bugs. Skeeve me out more than I can say. And for whatever reason, they just keep crawling around, but never when I look directly AT them. Of course they aren't there anymore when I look right at where I just saw them. I'm exhausted, maybe that's why I keep seeing these things. The Mr. Hell Show is coming on soon. After this movie... what is it? Traffic. YAWNFEST. As good as the cinematography may be, and as much as I love Benicio Del Toro, it exhausts me to watch it. I need to go in search of my notebook and start writing again... 2000 fictitious words in two weeks.. that was the deal.
WHEN THE BUGS RUN AROUND THE CORNERS OF YOUR VISION
I think they call it insanity.... Either way, I'm tired enough that I'm starting to see REALLY HORKIN HUGE BUGS crawling along the peripherals... kind of creepy. OK.. VERY creepy. I hate bugs. Skeeve me out more than I can say. And for whatever reason, they just keep crawling around, but never when I look directly AT them. Of course they aren't there anymore when I look right at where I just saw them. I'm exhausted, maybe that's why I keep seeing these things. The Mr. Hell Show is coming on soon. After this movie... what is it? Traffic. YAWNFEST. As good as the cinematography may be, and as much as I love Benicio Del Toro, it exhausts me to watch it. I need to go in search of my notebook and start writing again... 2000 fictitious words in two weeks.. that was the deal.
5/31/02
11:02pm
STRONGBAD MANIA
So my friend Eric of wyndfeather.com and I were having an online tag session as well as me and my friend Monica of THE PAGE OF MO! (http://www.geocities.com/threeandme1/). Running willy nilly through this site:
http://WWW.HOMESTARRUNNER.COM/
As annoying as the character of Homestar is, his existence is made bearable, nay, justifyable by his nemesis STRONGBAD. So there we were, diving into and out of different sections of the site, and then tagging each other with the fun links we found. Fave links, hands down, and totally pee-worthy were StrongBad's Email, Homestar Talker (hint: if you get past the bland speech of Homestar, you get to the next level and that one features StrongBad), and the Fortune Cookies. Hilarious stuff.
More piss-yourself-laughing, milk-through-the-nose comedy can be found at www.legionstudios.com. Broken Seal is by far one of the funniest things I've ever seen... but then again I know the creator and the real-life characters, so maybe that makes it even funnier. Comedy makes the world go round.
11:02pm
STRONGBAD MANIA
So my friend Eric of wyndfeather.com and I were having an online tag session as well as me and my friend Monica of THE PAGE OF MO! (http://www.geocities.com/threeandme1/). Running willy nilly through this site:
http://WWW.HOMESTARRUNNER.COM/
As annoying as the character of Homestar is, his existence is made bearable, nay, justifyable by his nemesis STRONGBAD. So there we were, diving into and out of different sections of the site, and then tagging each other with the fun links we found. Fave links, hands down, and totally pee-worthy were StrongBad's Email, Homestar Talker (hint: if you get past the bland speech of Homestar, you get to the next level and that one features StrongBad), and the Fortune Cookies. Hilarious stuff.
More piss-yourself-laughing, milk-through-the-nose comedy can be found at www.legionstudios.com. Broken Seal is by far one of the funniest things I've ever seen... but then again I know the creator and the real-life characters, so maybe that makes it even funnier. Comedy makes the world go round.
Thursday, May 30, 2002
3:03pm
FLASHBACK A-GO-GO
I started flipping through the channels to fill the time earlier, a few hours ago... Well, just finished watching Kids In The Hall (EXCELLENT SHOW!!!!!), and then Kingpin came on Comedy Central for about the zillionth time this week (I think it might very well be the only afternoon movie they have slotted). I grabbed the remote-- I'm fearing that it might just be attaching itself to my hand now-- and flipped through the channels in hopes of finding at least good background filler until the Simpsons and Drew Carey come on later. So there I am, flipping through the channels, and ALL THE SAME SHOWS ARE ON AGAIN. I'm in a timewarp or something... An American Vampire Story....who gets paid to make this crap?
5/30/02
12:43pm
NEWSFLASH: PC VIRUSES DON'T AFFECT MACINTOSH
I thought most people knew this, but apparently they don't. Running the site that I do, I get a LOT of people sending my viruses-- or trying to. I don't like it. In fact, I think that intentionally sending out a computer virus (even if it doesn't infect the aimed-at computer) should be a beatable offense. I can't imagine someone would have so much time on their hands that they start feeding viruses into a computer system. Now hacking, that's a different story-- as long as you're not hurting the computer or the person you're hacking. Hacking takes some skill and finesse, whereas viruses? Dime a dozen, really.
So back to my story. Some PERSON (this is one I actually KNOW) sent me Holly. For whatever idiotic reason, Dante decided to download Holly to our desktop and try to open it (who knows, maybe he thought it would be porn). Apparently the hotmail mcafee scan icon with the exploding bomb wasn't enough of a clue... So I come along, see this thing called Holly.vcf sitting on the desktop, didn't think much of it (--I actually confess that at first I thought it was a porn shot and figured I'd see what was up with that), and double-clicked on it. MIME format. Yay. I took a second look at the extension, it clicked home finally, and I raised holy hell. I opened up my email and sent the damned thing back to our "friend" who has sent us that virus three times now. Bastard. He's tried sending us other shit, too, and I think he's getting pissed that none of what crashes and destroys his computer even affects ours.
Which brings me to the site receiving about 30 viruses--well, in this case a worm-- in one week. Someone caught Klez and it just kept coming. By the end, I just started deleting anything that was 130K in my inbox. Today I got an email from someone with a link, and a rather cryptic massage "Bye susann". I figured, it's a going away present. Afterall, I DID move, right? And I DID put up a page on my site giving a tour of the new place, so perfectly feasible to get an email that says 'bye' with the subject line being "privat video :-)".
I followed the link, assuming some friend had made a video for me of them waving goodbye or something, and BAM. Hugeass German site. Well, I'm open-minded, so I figure I'll click on the jpg icon and see what's up with this place (since I understand NONE of what's written up there except for something about film). Next thing I know, instead of downloading a still image, the damned thing's downloading an .exe file! Yay. It suddenly made more sense, that whole "bye" thing. Every link sets the computer to download "loulou.exe".
Did some homework,loulou.exe IS a virus. This is a pretty cool link that goes over viruses and who's sending em:
http://www.behindbars.uk.com/virus.html
AS A WARNING, this is the email that came to me. I took out the http and www so it wouldn't form a live link for someone to "accidentally" follow:
FROM: hotgirl
To : 20suzi@smilinggoth.com
Subject : privat video :-))
Date : Thu, 30 May 2002 05:26:07 +0200
privat video ***.privatgefilmt.hpg.ig.com.br/index.html bye susann
So if you get an email from this person, delete it. I don't know what the virus does to PC's, I just know I'm immune for the time being. :)
12:43pm
NEWSFLASH: PC VIRUSES DON'T AFFECT MACINTOSH
I thought most people knew this, but apparently they don't. Running the site that I do, I get a LOT of people sending my viruses-- or trying to. I don't like it. In fact, I think that intentionally sending out a computer virus (even if it doesn't infect the aimed-at computer) should be a beatable offense. I can't imagine someone would have so much time on their hands that they start feeding viruses into a computer system. Now hacking, that's a different story-- as long as you're not hurting the computer or the person you're hacking. Hacking takes some skill and finesse, whereas viruses? Dime a dozen, really.
So back to my story. Some PERSON (this is one I actually KNOW) sent me Holly. For whatever idiotic reason, Dante decided to download Holly to our desktop and try to open it (who knows, maybe he thought it would be porn). Apparently the hotmail mcafee scan icon with the exploding bomb wasn't enough of a clue... So I come along, see this thing called Holly.vcf sitting on the desktop, didn't think much of it (--I actually confess that at first I thought it was a porn shot and figured I'd see what was up with that), and double-clicked on it. MIME format. Yay. I took a second look at the extension, it clicked home finally, and I raised holy hell. I opened up my email and sent the damned thing back to our "friend" who has sent us that virus three times now. Bastard. He's tried sending us other shit, too, and I think he's getting pissed that none of what crashes and destroys his computer even affects ours.
Which brings me to the site receiving about 30 viruses--well, in this case a worm-- in one week. Someone caught Klez and it just kept coming. By the end, I just started deleting anything that was 130K in my inbox. Today I got an email from someone with a link, and a rather cryptic massage "Bye susann". I figured, it's a going away present. Afterall, I DID move, right? And I DID put up a page on my site giving a tour of the new place, so perfectly feasible to get an email that says 'bye' with the subject line being "privat video :-)".
I followed the link, assuming some friend had made a video for me of them waving goodbye or something, and BAM. Hugeass German site. Well, I'm open-minded, so I figure I'll click on the jpg icon and see what's up with this place (since I understand NONE of what's written up there except for something about film). Next thing I know, instead of downloading a still image, the damned thing's downloading an .exe file! Yay. It suddenly made more sense, that whole "bye" thing. Every link sets the computer to download "loulou.exe".
Did some homework,loulou.exe IS a virus. This is a pretty cool link that goes over viruses and who's sending em:
http://www.behindbars.uk.com/virus.html
AS A WARNING, this is the email that came to me. I took out the http and www so it wouldn't form a live link for someone to "accidentally" follow:
FROM: hotgirl
To : 20suzi@smilinggoth.com
Subject : privat video :-))
Date : Thu, 30 May 2002 05:26:07 +0200
privat video ***.privatgefilmt.hpg.ig.com.br/index.html bye susann
So if you get an email from this person, delete it. I don't know what the virus does to PC's, I just know I'm immune for the time being. :)
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