Saturday, May 11, 2002

Discussion boarding is wearing on me. Seems no matter what I write, it will always be misinterpreted as complete idiocy, or an attack. I usually have the best of intentions. I also used to think I knew what I was talking about... Does it make me wrong if 5 wrong people disagree with my right post? Am I made wrong by popular demand? Yikes. That's an awful thought. I guess the next question is whether or not I care.

Something big is coming on the war front. I'm seeing more and more ads for military sign-ups, more war movies, and now programs on TV that give you a glorified "insight" into various branches of the military. It's terrifying to see so many military plugs on television. When those start, it usually means something's coming. The military needs to restock.

Finally I get to play dress-up! :)
More details on that one later.

I'm hoping to test out the tropical beach this weekend. See if it's worth the hype.

Friday, May 10, 2002

i really wish I could sleep tonight...

I guess now is a good time to post the web site I run?

Check out Smiling Goth Productions

May 10th
Questions comments all the time people pry into our everyday lives.
Welcome to my private hell. I'm manic depressed, or bi-polar, or whatever PC bullshit the shrinks decide to name it on any given day.
Just in case you didn't notice the moodswings in my posts. :)
At this very moment I am furious at random commercialism. It's interrupting one of my favorite Orson Welles films: The Third Man. I know Orson's name isn't in the director's spot, but if you know Orson's style, you'll know he either directed the film, or had a big hand in it.
Catch it on AMC if you can. Especially if you like films with real stories. Black and white film is almost a guarantee for a good story.
So my manic upswing hit, and now I'm enjoying insomnia. One of these days I'm going to unpack my art supplies and start painting again. Something to pass the time. Now to watch the movie. Then I'll play dress up again. Script errors are such a headkill.
Last night was a swirl of feathers, lace, and garters with fishnet stockings.
What started it all was a journey into various websites and memories of strippers on brass poles and the tricks they do for tips.
It all went into imagination fodder and I woke up sore as hell with a huge grin.
Seems I'm not the only one in heat lately. Pants meowed at the door all day and Dante's craving chocolate.
Here's a pic of Pants, my cat.
seems that this thing will only let me get so far before it cuts me off...
too bad, I was writing about sex...

Tuesday, May 07, 2002


So I'm literally SCOURING the internet looking for an instructional designer or technical writer position just about ANYWHERE in the Orlando area.
I'm searched out. I hate having to depend on unemployment checks to make ends meet.
I electronically published two of my novels, and a few copies have sold, but not enough to make any difference. I know they're good books... and I can't afford advertising. No one wants to buy art prints, either. *sigh* My life is a Catch 22.
Cool... It worked. :)
So here I am in sunny Orlando, Florida, wondering why the hell I left the wonderful confines of New York City. I'm trying to remind myself that when I lived there I felt drained and angry a lot of the time.
So much for the memories... I watch a lot of television lately. There really isn't anything else to do here. It's so sunny and cheerful. Hard to be depressed in the land of Mickey Mouse, but I am. Maybe if I bought a pair of mouse ears....
Kids in the Hall definitely has helped me stay smiling.

I feel bad because I left most of my friends behind when I moved. I had good reasons for leaving, but they seemed to have vaporized when I crossed the state line. It's funny how everything seems better when you get away from it. My longing for a place I couldn't wait to leave just reminds me of how abysmally human I really am. Oh, sweet irony. :)

So this is the live posting thingie?

I guess I should provide a link for the voyeurs out there. Click on my pic to the left, and you'll be taken to the site.