Saturday, June 01, 2002



Waiting for the Beast to call me back. She's probably already in the Land of Unconscia. I swear sometimes I honestly believe my mother's family are all reverse vampires. They rise with the sun, feed during the day, and as soon as the sun sets, they all turn into narcoleptics. Odd odd odd. Beast even sent me a package, containing a ring that matches one she got for herself and a third one for the Wenchling. Amethysts in gold. Pretty, but I never really wear gold. Gotta love the Beast, though.

Latest news: Pants is in heat. Oh yeah, it's sooo official now. She was doing the come-get-me-boys dance all over the living room floor. Ick. Cat ooze is really not a pretty thing. Poor Dante had no clue, and now he's got two females doing the happy dance for him.. LOL. I'd like to believe the human version of it is a lot more subtle, since humans don't normally have tails.

So I get to hear all these disturbing stories from where Dante works. I got to meet all the people he works with, and they seemed nice enough, but JESUS, did they TALK. I never knew women talked so damned much! And about NOTHING! One girl went on and on about her boyfriend and how wonderful and GORGEOUS he is, and wouldn't shut UP about this guy to the woman whose hair she was cutting, so much so that _I_ was ready to tell her to be quiet while I waited for Dante to finish mixing my colour. GAWD. Just to make things more interesting, this same verbal fountain HIT ON DANTE while I WAS SITTING THERE. Talk about lack of respect! EEEeeew! The worst part was her blatant innuendoes when referring to her 7-inch scissors... I felt dirty after that one. Like I wasn't gonna catch on to her oh-so-subtle flirting technique, or see through her blatantly obvious hair dresser codes or something. Gross. So now that the stage is set, D-man comes home with some more war stories. This chick is also apparently some kind of religious freak. I'm all for religion, as long as I don't have to eat what they're trying to feed me at the picnics. So this chick-- the same one who made an excited reference to MY BOYFRIEND of how much she couldn't wait to get her hands on her 7-inch scissors right after spewing so much crap about how in love she is with some guy-- was spewing today about her church, and the picnic, and how PURE she is.... *ahem! Pure as New York snow, I'm SURE* and then in the next breath going on about the guy again, and how he has now left town, but they're still together *cough! Yeah right!*

After listening to this girl gushing like a waterfall for a mere three hours, I can only IMAGINE the hell it must be for poor D-man to have to work next to her. After meeting her, I understood men and their hangups with women.. Scary but true... She gives women a bad name. She cancels out all the cool women in this area. There should be some kind of roundup squad that goes out and collects women that are just NOT FIT for society, or for furthering the human race, that way we just get them the hell out of the gene pool before they can start swimming in it. Got some sick hangups with men to the point you'll lie to get your way in a court of law? Out of the genepool. Psychotic? out of the genepool, please. Have no business interacting with society? Out. Flirt with a woman's boyfriend while the woman is standing next to the boyfriend? Waaay out. Lack of respect for your own kind--geez. Trying to force-feed religion to an already-fed populace? Bye bye. No pool for you. Blindly believe any and all rumors that someone you KIND OF know tells you about someone you've known for years? Ciao. Spread those rumors even after knowing there's a 95% chance they aren't true? Bitch, be gone with you! Hired or convinced a goon to go beat up an ex-boyfriend? Exit stage left, thanks. Born and raised in New Jersey? Please limit your social interactions to ONLY the state of NJ. (and I can say that because I lived there. Something in the water, I swear!) Frequently take drugs because they're fashionable these days? One word: moderation, and thanks for playing. Don't remember ANYTHING after drinking heavily, but have started more than one fight while under the influence? Drive safely off a large cliff, bye.

I guess BEING a woman, I tend to be pretty judgemental toward women on an individual basis. I have NO patience with the back-stabbing cattiness, or the gossip, or the competition. I mean, come ON. There's HOW many men in the world, and WHY do you want MINE? Not that I'm jealous, just annoyed. I know Dante will always come back, it's just I can't see the sense in those women who need ALL the men to be at their beck and call. Get over yourselves. You look trashy when you act desperate. There, I've said it. I also have no use for dishonesty, be it in women or men (BELIEVE me, my list for men quirks I dislike can go on and on, too). If you need to cheat, then you don't need a relationship. If you need to make yourself look better by telling lies to another person, then maybe it's time you start telling the truth to yourself. And with THAT happy note...... I am going to call someone.. Don't know who yet, but you'll find out when your phone rings. :)


Two months of rainstorms, lightning flashing into Lightning Alley, and FINALLY I got the rainbow I had been wishing for since we moved here. Nature's customer service comes through with flying colours--no pun intended. Somewhere something finally clicked and said, 'hey, this chick has been asking for a RAINBOW, not RAIN. Geez, did WE miss the message! Let's make it up to her!'

There was one rainbow, subtle at first, then gradually the colours became more and more vivid against the black clouds. I ran outside with my camera, getting drenched and sunburned at the same time (you really have to love Florida weather), taking pictures of this massive rainbow. I dragged Dante out to come share the moment, then noticed a SECOND rainbow forming right next to the first one. I was ecstatic (stupid things make me manic, what can I say?). Then the first rainbow started to sprout more rainbows underneath its arch, like some sort of weird video-induced acid trail effect. But still pretty damned skippy. I took pictures and pictures, used up an entire roll of film on it. I have no regrets. If those rainbows are a sign of things to come, I'm hoping they were also a sign of coming prosperity.


A moment of serenity, clarity even, inside my head. Quiet. Peace and QUIET on the INSIDE. How many people take that for granted-- the silence of thought? How many people don't have to worry about the constant noise in their heads? How many people have nothing to listen to, no driving force between their ears? How many people are just completely empty?

I guess I wonder at how so many people can be on this planet and yet NOT be HERE. They never saw a sunrise, never appreciated a perfectly blue sky with perfectly white cottonball clouds. They never SAW life and their part in it. All they see is themselves, never anything else. I find that disturbing. Life offers so many treats in the everyday grind, but all most people will see is their own private hell. I'd feel pity for them if I didn't know it was their own fault for suffering the way they do. With my own angst and drama in my everyday life, I appreciate and live every moment I can. The good moments are there, and I live them to the fullest. The bad times are also there, and I try to chalk them up to experience and learn from them. To deny the bad is to ignore the good. To live a full life is to live both bad times and good times. The glass isn't half full, and the glass isn't half empty. Just depends on how thirsty you are when you look at the glass... and how much you believe that that glass actually exists....

Ahhhhhh.... the Mr. Hell Show. :)

Friday, May 31, 2002



I think they call it insanity.... Either way, I'm tired enough that I'm starting to see REALLY HORKIN HUGE BUGS crawling along the peripherals... kind of creepy. OK.. VERY creepy. I hate bugs. Skeeve me out more than I can say. And for whatever reason, they just keep crawling around, but never when I look directly AT them. Of course they aren't there anymore when I look right at where I just saw them. I'm exhausted, maybe that's why I keep seeing these things. The Mr. Hell Show is coming on soon. After this movie... what is it? Traffic. YAWNFEST. As good as the cinematography may be, and as much as I love Benicio Del Toro, it exhausts me to watch it. I need to go in search of my notebook and start writing again... 2000 fictitious words in two weeks.. that was the deal.


So my friend Eric of and I were having an online tag session as well as me and my friend Monica of THE PAGE OF MO! ( Running willy nilly through this site:


As annoying as the character of Homestar is, his existence is made bearable, nay, justifyable by his nemesis STRONGBAD. So there we were, diving into and out of different sections of the site, and then tagging each other with the fun links we found. Fave links, hands down, and totally pee-worthy were StrongBad's Email, Homestar Talker (hint: if you get past the bland speech of Homestar, you get to the next level and that one features StrongBad), and the Fortune Cookies. Hilarious stuff.

More piss-yourself-laughing, milk-through-the-nose comedy can be found at Broken Seal is by far one of the funniest things I've ever seen... but then again I know the creator and the real-life characters, so maybe that makes it even funnier. Comedy makes the world go round.

Thursday, May 30, 2002



I started flipping through the channels to fill the time earlier, a few hours ago... Well, just finished watching Kids In The Hall (EXCELLENT SHOW!!!!!), and then Kingpin came on Comedy Central for about the zillionth time this week (I think it might very well be the only afternoon movie they have slotted). I grabbed the remote-- I'm fearing that it might just be attaching itself to my hand now-- and flipped through the channels in hopes of finding at least good background filler until the Simpsons and Drew Carey come on later. So there I am, flipping through the channels, and ALL THE SAME SHOWS ARE ON AGAIN. I'm in a timewarp or something... An American Vampire Story....who gets paid to make this crap?


I thought most people knew this, but apparently they don't. Running the site that I do, I get a LOT of people sending my viruses-- or trying to. I don't like it. In fact, I think that intentionally sending out a computer virus (even if it doesn't infect the aimed-at computer) should be a beatable offense. I can't imagine someone would have so much time on their hands that they start feeding viruses into a computer system. Now hacking, that's a different story-- as long as you're not hurting the computer or the person you're hacking. Hacking takes some skill and finesse, whereas viruses? Dime a dozen, really.

So back to my story. Some PERSON (this is one I actually KNOW) sent me Holly. For whatever idiotic reason, Dante decided to download Holly to our desktop and try to open it (who knows, maybe he thought it would be porn). Apparently the hotmail mcafee scan icon with the exploding bomb wasn't enough of a clue... So I come along, see this thing called Holly.vcf sitting on the desktop, didn't think much of it (--I actually confess that at first I thought it was a porn shot and figured I'd see what was up with that), and double-clicked on it. MIME format. Yay. I took a second look at the extension, it clicked home finally, and I raised holy hell. I opened up my email and sent the damned thing back to our "friend" who has sent us that virus three times now. Bastard. He's tried sending us other shit, too, and I think he's getting pissed that none of what crashes and destroys his computer even affects ours.

Which brings me to the site receiving about 30 viruses--well, in this case a worm-- in one week. Someone caught Klez and it just kept coming. By the end, I just started deleting anything that was 130K in my inbox. Today I got an email from someone with a link, and a rather cryptic massage "Bye susann". I figured, it's a going away present. Afterall, I DID move, right? And I DID put up a page on my site giving a tour of the new place, so perfectly feasible to get an email that says 'bye' with the subject line being "privat video :-)".

I followed the link, assuming some friend had made a video for me of them waving goodbye or something, and BAM. Hugeass German site. Well, I'm open-minded, so I figure I'll click on the jpg icon and see what's up with this place (since I understand NONE of what's written up there except for something about film). Next thing I know, instead of downloading a still image, the damned thing's downloading an .exe file! Yay. It suddenly made more sense, that whole "bye" thing. Every link sets the computer to download "loulou.exe".

Did some homework,loulou.exe IS a virus. This is a pretty cool link that goes over viruses and who's sending em:

AS A WARNING, this is the email that came to me. I took out the http and www so it wouldn't form a live link for someone to "accidentally" follow:

FROM: hotgirl  
To :  
Subject :  privat video :-))  
Date :  Thu, 30 May 2002 05:26:07 +0200  

privat video *** bye susann

So if you get an email from this person, delete it. I don't know what the virus does to PC's, I just know I'm immune for the time being. :)

Wednesday, May 29, 2002



Dear sweet jesus on a pogo stick... I just saw white men trying to dance in a commercial while waiting for the Mr. Hell Show to start. Followed by a perma-wax solution.... *sigh of relief* Thank Gawd, it's the Mr. Hell Show!!!


It's true. I have seen EVERYthing on cable and local TV at least once.
Gothic has been on about three times this month. I've seen it three times, and yet still find a morbid fascination in it. Or Julian Sands and Gabriel Byrne. Eye candy, that always helps a bad movie.

So to keep me somewhat sane, my buddies at Legion Studios have given me an assignment. Derrek's ultimatum: 2,000 words of fiction in two weeks. Brand new fiction, preferably (believe me, I tried to jump the easy part of the fence, even though 2,000 words is nothing compared to what I've written on a drunken evening). Can I do it? With my eyes closed. Will it be good? Yes, and even better. Will I have writer's block until the night before it's supposed to be posted to the web? Of course!

And will I watch the Aaaagh!! It's the Mr. Hell Show instead of writing tonight? Jury's still out on that one... I might just do both. At last! Something on TV!



If you've never watched the Drew Carey Show, do it at your earliest convenience. I used to think Wenchling's friend was nuts, she was addicted to this dry-looking Dilbert-esque show. Then one day there was nothing else on BUT the Drew Carey Show, so I figured why not. Pure genius!

There's the juxtaposition of Drew, the straight-laced corporate lackey, and his arch-nemesis, Mimi, the clown-car reject. Then there's twice the slapstick-stupid antics of Lewis and Oswald, the occasional intelligent but psychotic actions of Kate, then throw in Drew's brother, Steve, who is the resident executive transvestite (here's the soap opera part, the transvestite marries Mimi). Top it all off with Mrs. Cunningham from Happy Days as Drew's Mom, the subtle and often silly humor of Mr. Wick and Mrs. Lauder, and you have a damned skippy show.

So, stop reading this, and turn on the TV. Watch it.... you'll be pleasantly surprised.


OK. Wonders truly never will cease. I start my job search in October of last year-- OCTOBER! I applied to a company in Princeton, NJ in December, in the hopes of being able to stay up north, but never heard back from anyone (except for one place, a pharmaceutical company who had all but guaranteed me a position and then yanked it away the day before my interview). So I applied to this company in Princeton, never heard from them again, and I chalked it up to 'whatever'.

As if my life wasn't funny enough...

Today, only a little bit ago, I get an email saying that they opened the position again and would I like to come in for an interview.... At this point I'm laughing a LOT. I wrote back and said I'd like to, but I'm now in Florida. I proposed that if they would like, I'd be more than happy to interview over the phone, and become a telecommuter. I doubt I'll hear from them again....

T'is to laugh.


Waiting for the next slot of shows to come on... The Drew Carey Show wins the 5:30 place on my television.

FRANKENSTEIN AND THE MONSTER FROM HELL it is, then. Look suspiciously like a Duran Duran/Arcadia video but without the cool music... Just checked the credits... no Simon LeBon or Nick Rhodes appearances.. sad, really. THAT would be entertainment. Pretty boys running around in pseudo-goth gear, singing great songs and trying to come to terms with a Frankenstein's monster.... tell me that wouldn't be fun.

5:01pm FOOD Network

Dear sweet creeping Jesus... how did Emeril Lagassi get his own TV show?? I guess as a human being he seems nice enough, but honestly, how many notches can you bump up the spices before it just stops being food and spices and makes the transition to spices with food accents?

I'm Italian. I use garlic, but only in flavor-enhancing doses, not in 'Hi, here's a mouthful of garlic for you!' doses. The point of seasoning is to enhance, not to pick it up and carry it. I use pepper, but I also KNOW my peppers. Different peppers achieve different effects. There is more to a spice rack than black pepper! But that's just me.... Time to find something better on TV. Where's the Naked Chef/Oliver's Twist when you need it?

Tuesday, May 28, 2002


So I start to read outside of my usual literary circle because quite frankly, most of what I read is as informed as, well, they aren't really that informed. So I travel to the opposite side of the literary net, to a site I normally would have passed right on by...
I'm an open-minded individual, afterall.

So I go to this site and hope for a light-hearted jab at society in general, and I got two pages of religious conspiracy theory.... Wow... was I shocked.. Apparently it wasn't just the goth crowd with hang-ups. Woo hoo!! Man, I loved to feel normal for all of five minutes. Then the rage set in....
So I did what any self-respecting goth bitch would do: I wrote a letter to the editor and pointed out this guy's mistakes. To my shock and amazement, the editor wrote back and was nice. Turns out we had a few things in common. That was nice to know, too. Also turns out the guy who wrote the article is usually sane, but finished reading some book and suddenly the conspiracy that I think everyone suspects but no one will voice was voiced by this one guy. Poor guy... wasn't he aroound when they sent out the memo?

My other explorations led me to the discovery of Strong Bad, a Flash animated comic strip that made me damn near pee myself laughing... although I have to say that Broken Seal at makes me laugh harder.... maybe because I know Derrek and Chris... There's just something hilarious about an evil clone that isn't evil, but still wears the goatee like a Star Trek episode.... and what WAS up with the goatees in that one?? They were supposed to be savages, and instead Spock just came off looking like Anton Zander LaVey...


(this story took place over two months ago, and we're only now just starting to hear back from the company about our problems with them)

I think a lot of people can sympathize with me here... We had hired a moving company to help us with our move to Mouseworld, and the initial estimate was $1200 to move from New Jersey to Florida. The movers got there... four and a half HOURS late, and took over 8 hours to move us. So we finally got done overseeing the hell on earth at the sun-rising hour of 5:30am. On top of that, we left half of our stuff behind, because the movers didn't come prepared with tools of any sort, and we had packed up our toolbox. AND they DROPPED my antique furniture down the stairs!!!! On top of that, even, and the biggest slap to the face, they charged us an ADDITIONAL $1500 on top of the original $1200!!! They claimed we went over the initial cubic footage, but wouldn't let us look in the truck to make sure. They were loud as hell, and at 4am in a city, that's a big deal.

When we found a place to move to, we called up to get our stuff, and they told us we couldn't have it for 3-5 WEEKS. We had been told it would only cost $1200, AND that storage was free for the first month in case we needed it, AND that when we wanted our stuff, we could have it the next day.

So I fought with them, Dante fought with them, and I requested a claims form for the damaged goods. FINALLY we got our stuff, TWO WEEKS later, and I finally got my claims form. I won't even go into how many things were broken. The storage was supposed to be climate controlled, but yet my candles were warped and melted (and these were those glassed-in graveside candles, no easy task to melt as they have to burn for 7 days) and I have mildew damage on stuff that was boxed up. Hmmm... The greatest part-- and let me tell you how much FUN this was, FIREANTS had taken up lodging in one of these 'stored' boxes, and were pretty damned upset at being disturbed by my attempts at unpacking. Large furniture (antique furniture) was scraped and broken, pieces of one item just gone entirely, and we were charged for the packing materials that were used to supposedly protect the items...

We filled out the claims forms, and we even had them notarized (which didn't make sense to the notary public, either), sent in photographs of the damaged furniture, and waited patiently. A month passed, and we finally got a letter from the company saying they had received our claims forms, and they were 'looking into' the matter. (we sent the documents certified and return-receipt requested, so we know damned well that they got the letter and when, it took them two weeks to get back to us)

The worst part is that we sent in a 'coupon' (the woman told us that we had to send it in in order to get our $150 dollars back-- wouldn't that be a rebate and not a coupon?), and we haven't seen that money either. The company only pays .60 cents per pound of damaged items, we had over 800 pounds of damaged items, which means we'll only get back about $522 IF they even decide to be honest and give us back a portion of it.

So... as a warning to ANYONE in the USA who's thinking about moving: CENTURY EXPRESS VAN LINES is the name of the company to watch out for. This is their website:

Just to add more detail to this one, supposedly one of the guys who moved us (there were three, and apparently at least one of them was in the States as an illegal alien, hurrah) was fired for the awful service. THEY GAVE HIM OUR NEW NUMBER AND HAD HIM CALL US SO WE COULD TELL HIM WHY HE WAS GETTING FIRED!!!!

Scary, isn't it?