7/02/02
9:13pm


POPCULTURE TELEVISION: POISON TO THE MIND OR CURE FOR THE COMMON COLD?


I must apologize to those who might have actually become addicted to my online rantings. I got a new job. It's fun. No, seriously, it really is. Someday I may even mention where I work. I do have to admit to missing the steady unemployment check mailed out to me with promptness and sterile inhuman efficiency every week for the last six months, though.

Soooo... here's me, sane as I can attain. Hurrah.

And onto the gack they fill my television airtimes with. Just what the HELL is the FOX network thinking??? At one point there was some decent programming on there; Family Guy, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, The Tick (both cartoon and Patrick Warburton versions), That '80's Show, to name a few of the now MIA shows I came to know and love. What have they replaced it with? Bernie Mac and American Idol, with a show dedicated to stupid humans doing stupid tricks waiting in the wings. I mean seriously... what about those of us who LIKED the sick humor? The SMART humor? The humor you had to actually pay attention to or you would miss the joke in the canned studio audience laughter tracks. Where are my cartoons, dammit???

And I can only watch Malcolm in the Middle so many times before I become enraged at the tyranny of Lois over her spawn. For a woman with such an iron fist, she has the most out of control household.

Next up on the firing lineup: American Idol.... Jesus H. Christ jumping up and down on a pogo stick!! Where did they drag that one out of? The ashes of Temptation Island and Lovecruise?? Was this the last thing at the bottom of the barrel? GAWD. Proves to me that I am growing old despite my best efforts. Oh well. If being young means having to watch crap like American Idol and ENJOYING it, then count me as a senior citizen and buy me a plot at the local cemetery, cuz I ain't watching it. I'm putting my foot down here and now. So why am I bitching, you ask? Because the only voice of reality on American Idol is the least-liked member of the panel: SIMON. Rude? On occasion. Sarcastic? Show me a person in the entertainment industry who ISN'T. So all of the pretty P.C. folks have a problem with him because he's not sugar-coating the truth: some of those kids SUCKED donkey ass. And seriously, he's the most honest of all of us, because he's the one saying it to these kids' faces. Better for them to hear it now then to attempt to make a career out of their lack of talent. Meanwhile the other two are just kind of bitching at him for being honest. Why? The two hoochies from Miami should have been booted the second they came up in their hoochie gear. If I had had as much asscheek hanging out as that one girl, I wouldn't have bothered wearing the daisydukes in the first place. Then her buddy shows up with no underwear on and a gauzy white (see-through) outfit, I felt like I should have been ready for a porn to break out.
As if the no-talents weren't bad enough, we have the sore losers to back it all up. What exactly IS the message of shows like these? Teach all of America that if you don't get what you want, be the worst sore loser you can be, cry and bitch, and then if at all possible, SUE SOMEBODY. Forget about dignity, forget that you might be seen by someone out there who LIKED you, but your bad attitude just ruined any chance you had, but that's okay. Apparently no doesn't mean no either, and the words "I don't like you." really translate to "I'm playing hard to get."

Go figure. And let's look at this one: educational funding is being funneled into sports more and more, and the rise in teen crime and drug abuse is escalating. Next thing you know, America is going to be filled with sports junkies watching Stupid Human Tricks by Stupid Humans III and the intelligent ones will be slowly phased out like some sick reverse-darwinism-- oh wait. That's already begun.... Only question is: Is art imitating life or is life imitating art?